So, I’ve been starting to feel a little ungrateful and a little guilty. My little blogging awards keep piling up and I haven’t done a single one of them. I’m not very good at following the rules either, but I’m going to attempt to do this the quick and nasty way.
First, I’d like to thank those who have nominated me for these awards. I’ve received the top two a few times, from some lovely bloggers, and the bottom two just recently, from some equally lovely bloggers
shit I’m lazy.
So for the TMI Award I’m supposed to post the link to my sexiest blog:
Based on views and likes this is the sexiest blog I have. Based on likes alone this would win (but it hardly counts I think. Someone happened to feature this post in Stumbleupon under the category poetry. Though that was nice of them). But This is my favorite, if I might toot my own horn.
For the TMI award, I should tell you an embarrassing story:
Sexually, the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me was having to call a friend of the family for handcuff keys. I was fucking around with an old fuck buddy and he wanted to handcuff me (something I’m always down for) with his police issue, double-lock cuffs. Unfortunately, my ditzy darling realized (after hours of torturous play and orgasms on both sides) that he had no idea where his handcuff keys were. I was cuffed to his headboard and couldn’t help look, but I promise you, I was
cursing at him vehemently making helpful suggestions the whole time. When my hands started to get all tingly, I said, “Fuck it, grab my phone.”
By friend of the family, I mean my mother’s best friend, who was a cop, and when I was younger, served as my School Resource Officer. I made my fuck buddy call him and put the phone to my ear, where I diplomatically explained the situation and asked him to come over and help me out of a bind. Fuck buddy helped me slide my panties back on and tucked me in real well with a sheet before my mother’s best friend arrived. I’m quite sure when he walked in the room, I could’ve died from all of the blood rushing to my face. He had many a slick comment to make that just made matters worse. By the end, Fuck buddy and Family friend were bro-fisting while I was dying of shame. Sigh.
For the B.I.L.F award I should post 5 sexy suggestions:
1) If you can deep throat, you should swallow against the head of his cock. He’ll love you for it.
2) Ladies: leg lingerie (stockings, socks, knee highs, thigh highs, garters, panty house, etc) will make you feel like a new woman. Indulge.
3) Everyone should masturbate at work at least once. Bonus points if you don’t have your own office.
4) Dirty talking, once thought to be overrated (due to it being a learned porn behavior I guess) is seriously underrated. IF you’re aurally stimulated at all, you should try it with your partner. Let them talk dirty to you while you masturbate and vice versa. Lean up against their ear in the middle of sex and say what you’re feeling, describe the sensations, tell them how much you’re into them right now. Or go the porn route if you’re into it: Screaming, “yea I’m your dirty bitch” can be freeing. Just kidding on the last one, but being called a dirty slut is one of the hottest things in the midst of fucking. Seriously. Seriously.
5) BDSM advice for Doms from a Dom (not me, obviously): Make your submissive adore you and adore them in turn, it is the best foundation to build upon for control/power exchange.
For the Versatile Blogger Award I should post 7 things about myself:
1) I listen to records on a record player, I wear (actual) vintage clothing (sometimes), I cook and bake, my favorite movies are all in black and white, and if I could be an expatriate living somewhere in Europe (French Riviera anyone?) I would be. I was sooo born in the wrong era.
2) I’ve been formally trained in method acting, and I’ve been stage acting since I was a child. I find it freeing, in every sense of the word; besides being my passion, it also gives me an outlet for my manic depression, go figure.
3) I love languages. I speak English and French fluently (was raised in a bilingual household, though I’m not French by heritage). I’m proficient at German (understand more than I can speak it). I’m making an attempt at learning/absorbing Swedish. I’m learning Arabic devotedly. Someday I want to learn Farsi.
4) I read everything. I can’t tell you my favorite author, because the list would be too long. My favorite poets are T.S. Eliot, Sylvia Plath, Hafez, and Pablo Neruda (plus some others, I suppose). But I do read everything, including trashy paranormal romance novels (but only if the writing is good). Currently, I’m re-reading Tender is the Night and studying Black Marxism: the Making of the Black Radical Tradition for a research proposal I’m writing at University.
5) I have a deep, deep need to move and to travel, and I will pick up and move for no reason other than the desire to be somewhere new. I’m second generation American-born on my father’s side. My grandmother was born in Ireland and comes from a line of Irish gypsies; I often joke that I have nomad blood in me.
6) I have 9 tattoos as of this posting. I plan on at least one more this year. I got my first one at 15 and don’t regret it. If you saw me walking down the street, there’s a chance you wouldn’t see a single one of them.
7) I have addictions and obsessions. Once I fall in love with something, it’s hard to detach myself from it. I’m addicted to sex, and I used to be addicted to MDMA (I’ve been to rehab twice for it). I obsess over movies and music and people who I love, till I feel like I might literally burst at the seams. Everything I love is deep and immediate and lasting, and in the moment, it is all I care about. Read: I’m just this side of crazy sometimes, and I appreciate the people who can stand me.
For the Sunshine Blogger award, I should answer ten questions:
Ask them here. Ask me in email: firstname.lastname@example.org. I enjoy questions, as I am curious by nature myself.
As for nominating other bloggers, I feel as though most blogs I frequent have been nominated and, rather than start the process over again, I’ll just say, if you scroll down my page, on the right hand side you will find my “Literature Review”. These are the blogs I follow. These are the blogs I love. Check them out, any of them, and you won’t be sorry; every single one of them houses a great writer.