He’s a Tramp, But I Love Him, Yes, Even I Have Got it Pretty Bad

There’s something especially kinky and perverse about writing BDSM erotica while listening to Disney and Broadway showtunes. In case anyone wondered. There is a little survey going round one of my groups on Fetlife, and I thought I’d play along on here:

How do you identify under the BDSM acronym?

Bondage enthusiast/fetishist; Submissive; Masochist

What are your kinks?

Oh my, the list is far too long but some of my favorites: Victim of a mind fuck (fear play, mental bondage); Erotic Asphyxiation; D/s (including Daddy/little girl play); Heavy impact play (spanking, flogging, caning, etc); Cock worship; Lingerie/clothing fetish (corsets, hosiery, 1950s fashion, high heels/boots, gloves, etc); Forced orgasm and/or orgasm denial.

What is your favorite “toy” or implement that you own?

My favorite scening toy is my collection of real Pashmina scarves in various shades of cream, chocolate and deep burgundy. I hope to acquire some in a deep, dark blue some day. Besides that, my blindfold. And if it counts, my collar is a deeply prized possession. If you can’t tell, I like sensory play. I love police issue handcuffs as much as the next girl, but there is something about thick, soft Pashmina tied around my wrists that just… sends me.

How do you feel about marking, permanent or otherwise?

I love body modifications. I also love visual representations of all the ways my body belongs to sir. I crave bruises that last; I love cherry red ass cheeks; I love fingerprints, hand-prints, teeth indentations and hickies; I love the aesthetics of scarification, piercings, tattoos, and even brands and cell-popping. I have a -couple- of scars from play. My most recent one (I’m still not sure if it will be a scar or not, because my pale skin shows EVERYTHING and it lasts), is a mark on my thigh, that at the time, drew blood, from the holes in a belt.

Sir has joked about branding me with an initial, but he would never actually do it, because he doesn’t wish to harm me so much. My collar has his first initial on the inside of it. In conversations, I have told him that if we ever had something permanent, something serious, something just us, I would go so far as to ink his initial on my body. Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe in inking names on skin. I feel it is far, far too permanent a commitment. But my body is an empty canvas on which I paint the stories of my life through words and pictures. Sir has been in my life for a very long time, and as I have stated before, he is easily my very best friend before any other bond that we share. Sir has touched me in a way that would make it impossible for me to forget him, and he has touched me in a way that is integral to my being… so, it is for that reason I would ink a visual reminder of him on my body. But only under certain conditions, only with his express approval and permission, and only if I knew it wouldn’t send him running for the hills.

Would you ever live a 24/7 dynamic?

Yes, with some needs from my side. I would have to keep my school and work life separate and paramount. I am driven and ambitious, and I want to change the world–my sex life, a relationship or anything else for that matter, will NOT hold me back. I would still want to be an equal partner, rather than a slave. I still would not want to share my Top, period. I would be property but not a fucking object–I will not sit on the ground to watch TV with you, nor will I be your table. I will not be micro managed.

Do you role play? If so, what is your favorite scene?

Shit yes I do role play. My absolute favorite game/role to play/slip into is that of little girl (which isn’t so much age play, as letting my inner brat come out), or that of an innocent (maybe even virginal) and naive girl.  There is something so hot about… being a plaything, about being instructed because I “don’t know how” or because I don’t “know what I’m feeling… it’s hot and warm and wet…” I love wearing baby doll lingerie and sometimes my hair in pigtails. Again, the sexyness in this is not that I’m playing at being young, it’s that: “Poor dear, this old and you still don’t know about these things? tsk, tsk.” Grrrr.

I also like 50s housewife role play. I want to dress the part (the fashion is impeccable!) and I want to be called your wife, your baby, your girl. I want to cook for you and be demure and proper, etc.

I also like to play Harley and the Joker. I like to (literally) paint my face to look like Harley (it’s an art I’m perfecting), and put my hair in her trademark pigtails. I have a bang gun, and some day I will have a full costume, I shit you not.

Being a fully trained actress (by this, I mean I can also do costuming, make-up, crew, tech, lights, sound, etc) really pays off in the role play department!

What is the most important aspect of any BDSM oriented relationship?

Oh my god, T-R-U-S-T for sure. If we’re play partners, I must trust you enough to stop when I say my safe word; I also don’t do any edge play, mind fucking, etc with a play partner . If we’re in a dynamic, it takes insurmountable trust, it just does. I’ve only ever had a true, true dynamic with two men, and the trust it required was absolute. Sir only takes me to new heights because I trust in his control, I trust in his knowledge of me, and I trust in him.

Are you “out” to anyone in your life?

Heh. Both of my partners and a select and small group of ex-lovers and boyfriends who’ve gotten a little taste of what I like. My blogging audience, of course. Everyone else is pretty much in the dark about me and my kinks. My family, especially.

Would you ever consider being a public figure in the BDSM community? For instance: a public speaker or a teacher, a prominent member in your home community, a model or artist within the community?

No. Absolutely not. Though I’m (obviously) a bit of an exhibitionist, it wouldn’t help me in my future career in the least. It would be quite detrimental, actually.

Which philosophy do you adhere to more: S.S.C. or R.A.C.K?

There is a lovely article here that is more what I subscribe to, but for those who may not want to read it, I’ll explain here. I don’t feel that these two are separate. I know that some would suggest that the difference between Safe, Sane and Consensual and Risk Aware Consensual Kink is the absence or presence of Edge play, but I don’t believe that is true. I believe that if you live in the BDSM world at all.. if you’ve got a toe in the water, you should BE both of these things rather than DO one or the other. The article I linked to suggests that we play R.I.S.S.C.K. Risk Informed Safe Sane Consensual Kink. The “I” in that acronym is most important to me personally because information and knowledge are your first protection against fucking up royally.

Now, as far as what the question was trying to ask: yes, I do edge play, but only with Sir. I enjoy so-called edge play. But I also would like to say that I think any kind of BDSM is “edge” play. BDSM play has the ability to impact you on a physical, emotional and yes, even spiritual level. Every time you play with a partner, you are showing them the most vulnerable and deepest part of you, and that will always carry an edge or a risk to it.

This has been a shameless meme. Feel free to play along if you like. ;]