The majority of questions came from my tumblr, and were anonymous–I think this is because it’s easier to ask personal questions when one is anonymous. I also covered up the names of the few that weren’t anonymous, per later requests from the authors of the questions. We got a lot of questions, have both resolved to answer them to the best of our ability without completely giving up our anonymity. I have marked the ones Sir has answered with “S” and the ones I’ve answered with “F” just to make it easier. Again, I wanted to thank everyone who played along… I think it was a lot of fun. :]
And I have broken the answers into two posts because I really didn’t want a 4-5000 word post. So look out for the second coming in the next few days.
UPDATE: Here is part 2.
I want to know how far apart you are in ages. As you know I’m 9 years older than TN, so I’m always interested in that sort of thing and its challenges, if any.
F: You might be surprised to know that Sir and I don’t have a large age difference… only a few months over two years exactly. Neither of us sees any challenges due to this. Although I have had challenges in past relationships because of age difference. I’ve always been a bit of a Lolita type.
I wanted to ask how you two met, how often you get to see each other, what does your Sir “look like”?
F: Hmmmm. We met through a mutual friend we both had at the time. We talk every day, and we see each other… mostly on weekends. Work and other commitments make it hard for middle of the week fun time, but that happens sometimes. I’ve already cheated and answered the second part ahead of time… but I made a post about the way Sir looks some time ago. Here.
How much of an aphrodisiac is distance and being unattainable play in your desire for Fatal?
S: Distance doesn’t matter because I can just walk, drive, take a cab or hell if I’m further away board a plane. In today’s age distance is never an issue, but sadly not much of an aphrodisiac either. As far as being unattainable? Hmmm, is she?
How did your Sir or why did your Sir choose to leave you in the room for the night and day. What was the point of that from his point of view. What went through his mind in choosing to do that?
S: Because knowing she’s locked away, tied up like a pretty bundle of meat, pleases me.
I’d like to repeat my question as to why you chose to write as “Fatal”.
F: It has two sources. The original is ripped from the name of a now defunct shadow cast of Rocky Horror Picture show that I used to act in. And then I used it when I was an online Radio DJ (briefly). Now it’s just shortened to Fatal from Fatal Love Syndrome. :]
a) S: Fatal is the only sub I keep right now yes, but before her? I don’t really keep a count, that would be crass.
F: Let’s not forget that I am a masochist. I enjoy pain. Sometimes I crave more pain than Sir is probably willing to give me. Everything between us is consensual and wanted.
a) F: I’m not sure if you’re reading the same blog I’m writing. I write about the sex a lot, because though it is very personal, it’s one of the ways I can keep the blog from being like… a diary, or being too personal. However, I have definitely gone off from the topic of sex before, I have discussed my feelings, and the way that BDSM fulfills something else besides a sexual function. But really, the sex is the fun part isn’t it? We’re not in a 24/7 dynamic, or… a Master and Slave relationship, so it’s a bit different. I’m also not comfortable putting all of my real self, not Fatal, but the woman behind Fatal out there. Sometimes I think I’ve given up too much already: where I live, the type of work I do, attending university, and even, peppered around the blog… some pictures. It might not seem like it because I do write a sex blog and I am an exhibitionist, but I am a private person. Writing about the sex (mostly) keeps me a little detached.
S: It’s about much more than sex; it’s a test of trust, an exploration of the body, about its limits, but also about Fatal’s limits, fear, tolerance– it’s as much an adventure of the soul as it is about the body.
b) F: No. Sir isn’t responsible for the problems between T and I. T made the decision himself… maybe in a fit of rage over an argument we had. I’ve never claimed to be good at being in a relationship, but the things that happened between T and I had nothing to do with Sir.
F: Consider a collar kind of like a commitment. It means I’m his in this way, period. Did it change us? That’s a good question. I don’t think it changed anything in our dynamic, ‘cos I was already his in that way. But I think it’s helped me discover just how deep my submission goes. I think it’s made me more willing to go further, to do more.
b) S: I’m not really grounded enough to have one favorite form of scenes? It varies from day-to-day, from time to time, even from moment to moment, I’m a man of flighty fancies and an ever-changing temperament.
F: Oh… fundamentally, I suppose I understand the difference… but aren’t they the same in essence? Doesn’t a service submissive gain pleasure from the service? Is the difference in the way the submissive is used? Haha… I think I’m a bit confused. I enjoy doing service… like shaving his beard, or taking dictation… but those aren’t really service to me? Sorry, bad submissive I guess. Hah.
c) S: I’m a complicated mosaic composed primarily of 3 out of 15 house cats, 2 literary characters, a high school crush and this really nice looking guy that comes in to work every now and then.
F: ^^^I’m really not a cat lady. -.- Not yet anyway…
a) S: Learn to control your sub, not just to take your fantasy out on someone who just gives up. Communication is key in any relationship even the one between a dominant and a submissive, and last but not least, when you break your sub, put them back together again.
b) S: I try not to interfere in Fatal’s pursuit of happiness…but I’m jealous by nature and have a bad habit of ridiculing any faults I find in potential suitors.
c) S: The sex is good and “perfect” because we’ve been doing this for a long, long time, and because we don’t focus on getting the other person off but focus on giving them pleasure, to experience what it is we do together. That’s why it seems perfect. There are mishaps of course, there always are when humans are involved, but that’s why you laugh, snuggle up close together and breath in each others laughter and experience the joy and humor that is inherent to sex as well.
And the blog? I read it while I’m away on business, or if I’m bored at the office. I read every post at least once, and I quite enjoy it.
S: TONS, but its a sex blog so that’s why you don’t know about it. We watch movies, talk politics, philosophy, art, listen to music, and sometimes we just go out and get drunk.
b) S: Example? example for who? We’re two consenting adults well aware of the risks we take and choose to take them with the full knowledge of each other’s health. The only one I have to answer to is Fatal, anyone else reading this blog will have to make their own decisions about protection while screwing their exclusive sub.
F: So this question annoyed me when I first received it, because I was all: my body, my blog. But here’s the thing… I think sexual health is important. I think protection is important. Sir is the only person I fuck and without getting too deep in the nitty-gritty… I can’t have kids, so that’s not a factor. As far as setting an example… I don’t know who reads my bdsm blog for an example… but if you’d like to set a good example I suggest informing your children (if you have any) about proper sexual protection, and talking to your local schools about teaching sex-ed instead of abstinence. If you think my blog is worse than teaching abstinence, then you don’t have your priorities straight in the first place, in my opinion.
c) S: The hardest thing? My cock. Her manic depression only comes in to play in the way that if she’s in a bad way, emotional and sad or moody, I gotta put aside being a selfish and cruel prick for a bit and be there for her. Because most of all, before anything else, Fatal is a treasured friend, and when she needs me to be there for her I am.