I’m Astonishingly Vain Sometimes


I say sometimes, but that’s a bold-faced lie. I often ask myself, how can I have such low self-esteem, and yet such high confidence? I pick at every inch of myself, but am pretty vain. I like to talk about myself and I like attention (obviously!). So The wonderful Anastasia has nominated me for the Liebster Award. Thank you, darling. Smooches.

I am terrible with these awards. I usually take forever, and trying to choose just a short list of people to award them to makes me anxious, because I love all the blogs I follow, I think they’re wonderful, funny, intuitive, sexy people who write excellently. That’s why I follow them. I also don’t like to nominate people who have already been nominated a lot, as it can be overwhelming, etc. So I usually just do this: My blog roll is to the right under “Literature Review,” if there is a blog there that you haven’t yet stumbled upon, please check them out, they come highly recommended by yours truly.

Also, I think I am going to fill out both Anastasia and Jayne‘s questions because I like them all, AND put (maybe) 11 other random facts about myself (See, there’s the vain!)


Jayne’s Questions:

1. Do you collect anything and what is it? 

Music Boxes, love letters/regular letters (I LOVE hand written letters), Dali prints, IKEA furniture, good scotch, Disney Villain memorabilia, socks (of varying heights/lengths), nail polish, ticket stubs, ex-lovers

2. What trait do you have that irritates other people? 

self-deprecation, an inability to trust, paranoia, a desire to seek out what I probably don’t want to know, and I find that my manic depression often annoys the shit out of people! But I’m right there with them, it can be pretty annoying.

3. What type of person are you at a friendly party?

I’m the token drunk girl with a lamp shade on her head.

4.  What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

I’d be emperor.

5.  What sense would you give up if you had to?

This is like… the hardest question people ask me. Can I say my sixth sense and get away with it? haha

6.  What was your favorite toy when you were a little kid?

Barbies. I did terrible, unspeakable things with my Barbies as a child. Someone should have known how I’d turn out.

7. Do you have a weird memory from when you were a kid? 

A summer spent in the city. My cousin and I hid deep in the “woods” of central park and spent the night there. It was scary and thrilling and we were nearly maimed for our trouble, but it was fun.

8. Do you believe that open toed high heels are inappropriate attire for a female to wear to work?

I wear them to work, but my work is a bit lax about the dress code. I think peep-toe heels are sexy as all hell, and probably aren’t work attire, but I feel like it can be overlooked if the rest of the outfit is up to dress code par.

9. Do you know or have you heard of any women that wake up and pee in the shower when they are  getting “dressed and ready” in the morning?

I’m sure most women pee in the shower? I don’t personally because my aunt scared me by telling me that my feet would smell like pee for the rest of my life. It’s irrational but it stuck with me, so I pee first, then shower.

10. Can you tell me about one of the most beautiful vistas you have ever seen?

I was standing on the Széchenyi Chain Bridge in Budapest, Hungary, and it was my first night there. The lights of parliament illuminated the Danube River all around me, making the water seem to dance with this ethereal light. It was one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen.

11. If you could instantly have another education and full range of knowledge about a subject mater that would put you in a career you can’t have right this moment, what would it be?

Psychology. I have often said that if I didn’t study my current field, I should’ve been a Psychologist.


Anastasia’s Questions:

1. If you could be any animal, what animal would you be ?

Black Panther.

2. If You acquired a boat what would You name her?

Wet Dream

3. What is your favorite smell?

Skin, Sex, Sweat, Petrichor

4. Would you ever live outside your comfort zone for 30 days? (whatever that interpretation means to you. i.e. no technology, no television, living in a shelter or without electricity) Please Share

I think… living outside for a period of time without any shelter would be outside of my comfort zone. I hate bugs, spiders scare me, I’m a wilting flower in the heat, and I hate squatting to pee. I’d probably do it to say I did it.

5. Do you have any phobias?

Drowning. Needles. Being abandoned.

6. What’s the Most dangerous thing You have done?

Fall in love. Trust people. SCUBA with nursing sharks. Stayed with strangers. Rode in cars with strangers. Driven drunk (not proud). Rode on the back of a motorcycle. Given road head. Picked bar fights. Mouthed off to a man with a gun at my back.

7. What is your Astrological sign, and do you feel you possess those characteristics?

Leo. I am definitely a Leo.

8. Do you believe that the color of a room affects your mood? What color(s) soothes you.

Hmmm. I could go both ways on this. I once had a bedroom in an apartment that was painted in black with black floors and red ceilings. It made it really easy to sleep at a time when it was very hard for me to sleep. Blues of all shades soothe me.

9. Do you donate blood?

I’m not eligible for a number of reasons. Tattoos, unprotected sex, etc. I forgot the amount of time you have to wait in between those things and giving blood, but it’s a rather substantial amount of time, if I remember correctly. Also, I have and have had a severe case of anemia. Last time I tried to give blood, they pricked my finger and it was like a faucet.

10. If you could be the opposite sex for 30 days would you?

Hell yea. One month as the opposite sex. I’d pee everywhere and have all the sex. I’d masturbate constantly and probably just let my balls and cock swing free and giggle at myself. I hope I wouldn’t sit on my balls, I hear that hurts.

Random Facts (11):

  1. I make lists obsessively. I make lists about lists. I make grids and graphs. I have to write things down or I get overwhelmed with the sheer volume of stuff going on in my brain.
  2. I start desiring strange things when I am forced to deprive myself of gratification. I want igloo sex right now.
  3. I recently thought about giving up my goals and ambitions and becoming a professional cosplayer, because why not?
  4. Since I quit drinking soda and cut way down on coffee, caffeine is now like crack to me. I think I’ve annoyed my coworkers quite a bit in the last week.
  5. I have a big personality, so usually when I meet new people, I’m pretty reserved at first, because I never know how they’ll react to me.
  6. I’m reading 6 non-fiction books right now.
  7. I finished writing a novel last week, I’m currently editing it and writing the sequel.
  8. I really want a warm mouth on my nipples right now.
  9. I had a dream during my nap today about never being allowed to have an orgasm again, which over the course of the dream, progressed into never having sex again. It was terrifying.
  10. I make delicious home-made food from scratch.
  11. When people start to pull away, I try to pull away faster. I am strongly competitive and really slightly insecure.

5 responses to “I’m Astonishingly Vain Sometimes

  1. Wonderful to read all of this Fatal. Your answer about peeing totally surprised me. I just heard of this trick about 8 months ago and I was shocked. I thought my lack of this whole idea had to do with growing up in a household with no males. I guess not because Feve, you and a girlfriend all think everyone does it. Pee = toilet, period. Maybe I ahve to try it…nah, I don’t want to feel it running down my legs.
    Igloo sex? Have you seen any of the Ice Hotels?
    Your vista answer sounds magical. Thanks for taking the time to do these questions. The award thing is time consuming. xo, J

  2. To be honest, I’ve peed a little bit in a pool before. I know, I’m a pig, but it is amazingly mischievous, sly. (passive-aggressive?)

    Maybe I really did already know but I knew that you were a Leo! Do you know my sign? 🙂 it’s obvious.


    • Dawn darling,

      You’re hardly a pig. I’ve peed in the ocean out of necessity before (all day boat trips) and I’ve peed in the woods before and in a field by the side of the road. But I just don’t enjoy the whole process. Maybe I’m a bit of of a prude in that manner (good to know I can be a prude about something!)

      Oh, my sweet if I had to guess I would say Cancer or Pisces!

      I’m probably totally off base. Feel free to whack me if I am.

      Jtm aussi toujours!


      • Cancer forever! I knew you would know! The only thing un-Cancerian about me is that I never wanted children. Kids love me, I seek an adequate hiding place. 🙂

        Une multitude de bisous,

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