TMI Tuesday: Bar Fly

Time for fun and cheesy pick up lines at TMI Tuesday Happy Hour

happy-hour

At the TMI Tuesday bar someone walks up to you and utters the following lines, Tell us how you would respond.

1. Would you like to fake an orgasm with me tonight?

I don’t fake orgasms, but I do break hearts.

2. Did you just fart because you are blowing me away?

The daycare is around the corner.

3. You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies. (Would you accept?)

You’ll have to file the proper papers for that.

4. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

They don’t respond well to strangers.

5. You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong.

Looks more like a kiddie sub to me.

6. You look like a hard worker, I have an opening you can fill.

I would totally use this line on someone. No but seriously, I want to use it on someone tomorrow night.

7. I don’t feel good, I think I need a shot of penis-illin.

This is lame. I hope a guy would laugh at a woman who was using this seriously.

8. If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?

I would say this jokingly to Sir every day of the week bahahaha.

Bonus:  Belly up to the bar. What’s your pleasure? Which one drink would you order and why?

Slippery Nipple
No one can miss the innuendo in this drink’s name. It is comprised of equal parts Bailey’s Irish Cream and butterscotch schnapps. There are many different drink names that start with ‘Slippery’, most contain either Bailey’s Irish Cream or butterscotch schnapps.

After Sex
This drink is made with vodka, crème de bananas, and orange juice.

Leg Spreader
Not for the faint of heart, there is nothing but liquor in this drink. It is made of four equal parts of nothing but alcohol: tequila, vodka, gin, and rum. Proceed with caution!

All Night Long
The inference in this name is probably what most people wish for, but one or two or these will have you passed out on the floor all night long. It contains sweet and sour mix, coconut rum, Kahlua, crème de cacao, and pineapple juice.

Sloe Comfortable Screw
There are many drinks that play upon the pronunciation of sloe gin—pronounced slow gin. The rest of the name is a pun on all the other ingredients as well, to create a name that is as suggestive as you could want. Sloe gin for ‘slow,’ Southern Comfort for ‘comfortable,’ and orange juice and vodka for ‘screw’—as in a Screwdriver.

 

no, no, no. None of these. My sexual innuendo drink of choice is and always will be a screaming orgasm. Vodka, Bailey’s, and Kahlua. BUT you need quality vodka or the Bailey’s will just be unpalatable. So at least Grey Goose/Belvedere quality. Though, the best top shelf Vodkas I’ve ever had the pleasure of trying are definitely Snow Queen and Heavy Water, in case you were wondering.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

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