I Am Oblivion Made Real

My skin is alive. I need the feel of you moving against me to sustain it. My eyes are closed and I imagine your lips everywhere. My thighs part. Sense memory. I need no invitation. My back bows, curves. My body rocks, undulates, vibrates. My hair falls forward to hide my face. I am too naked there. Don’t look… don’t look.

I want your voice in my ear. Your lips at my neck. I want you to hear me moan. I want you to hear me struggle. I want you to know how much this body needs you. How well it responds to the need of you. Appreciate me. Coo. Coax. Praise. Tell me. I want to know you want me. I want to make you want me. My skin tingles. Alive with 1000 promises yet to be fulfilled and 1 million memories to recall… to replay.

There will always be you, here, beating in my breast, being wanted, making me wanton, even when you are not here.

TMI Tuesday: Blankity Blank Blank

man pushing pencil_tmi

1. My best friend is _____ .

an absolute treasure.

2. An _____  lover is all I _____ .

attentive, communicative, intuitive; need.

3. If you only know one thing about me it should be _____ .

I am a walking ode to duality.

4. _____  are the best _____  in the world.

Snuggles; thing

5. A man and _____  walk into a bar and _____ .

a woman; have a screaming orgasm. After, she had a glass of mineral water.  (boooo… hiss. I couldn’t think of shit to say here).

6. I like to eat _____  in fall.

pumpkin EVERYTHING

Bonus:  I can’t _____  if it rains but I can _____ .

stop it; dance in it.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link totmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

 

TMI Tuesday: Get inside my Head

Oh Behave.

oh behave_tmi

This week TMI Tuesday takes its cue from the world of psychology and sociology, which both deal with behavior.

1. Catharsis – What behavior or activity do you do to achieve catharsis.

Weep and Sob, self destruct, sex, rage, etc etc.

2. Self-affirmations was made famous by Saturday Night Live character Stuart Smalley (now Senator Al Franken): “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh-darn it, people like me.” What self-affirmation do you say/or should you say to yourself?

I don’t self-affirm. I’m not quite at the self actualization part of the pyramid yet. I suppose I should, it might make me a better person, except it’s pretty hard to look in a mirror these days.

3. “I knew it all along.” What did you know all along?

That this is all there was.

4. Daydreaming. About whom or what was your last daydream?

Whom? Naturally it was about Sir. When is it not? Tsk.
What? I was imagining myself in a different country.

5. We all have fears. What fear (real or improbable) have you taken steps against to protect yourself.

I fear being abandoned. Because of this… when I feel people or imagine people pulling away, I tend to shoot first and ask questions later—I usually try to ditch them before they ditch me.

6. Relationship churning–How many on-again off-again relationships have you been in? Why would you say you that you repeat this behavior?

Exactly zero. I don’t play that shit.

Bonus: Self-monitoring is the ability to both observe (or measure) and evaluate one’s behavior. It is an important component in human behavior that aids one to measure their behavioral outcomes against a set of standards. What sort of self-monitoring do you do on a regular basis?

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link totmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

I Have Weak Ankles

sustained from an old injury. They only flare up every once and again. Enough to make me fall head over heels on occasion.

My hair grows like a weed. I cut off six inches two or three weeks ago and now, I can barely tell a difference.

I grow my fingernails long and smooth and rounded. I used to file them into sharp little points once upon a time, but I’ve grown out of that phase.

I keep my feet in pedicures… they’re one of the few luxuries I really, really indulge in.

I have a soft heart and it makes me cry easily for animals, small children, the suffering of others, and the beautiful agony that is my own suffering.

I have a strong will that lets me struggle and strive.

I have an unhealthy relationship with food and consequently, my body, that my personal trainer is trying to break me of; instead of seeing food as sustenance, which is all it is, I see it as both the enemy and comfort, depending on my mood.

My favorite parts of my body are all the little bony places: my wrists and ankles, my collarbones and hipbones, the tiny points where my ribs poke out beneath my breasts.

I want, more than anything, to travel, penniless, through the world, making my way the only way I know how.

But that thought frightens me too, because I know the terrible, squeezing grip of poverty well, the way it makes you unable to breathe, the anxiety it gives you, the scars it leaves… and I never want to know it so intimately, ever again.

They say people who drink whiskey straight are real alcoholics. I prefer to think of myself as a connoisseur.

My compartmentalizing skills are legendary: they are how I survive but also have the propensity to ruin me utterly.

The bottom part of the year is my favorite. Autumn is passing into Winter, and the cold air soothes my spirit. I’ve been listening to Christmas music like I need it to live, and I’ve had a roaring fireplace every night for a week… warranted, by the way.

I want something dangerous and exciting and new to happen to me very soon.

TMI Tuesday: Queen of the Night

night_tmi
Fill in the blank

1. When I can’t sleep I _____ .

Take a long, scalding shower; soak in a bath; go swimming; go walking; go driving; dance around the house; read a book; have sex; masturbate; write; listen to music; watch late night infomercials; put on a favorite movie.

2. My dream bedroom would be full of _____ .

Pillows. Lots and lots of pillows. Soft, beautiful, big pillows. And blankets of all different warm, snuggly fabrics. Maybe some mirrors… and some lovely dim lights. I’d definitely have a fireplace and a big, fluffy rug to lay on in front of it.

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be _____ .

Any country in Europe. In a gorgeous hotel or a cabin by some water… someone’s house that they rent out during all the seasons except for summer… lovely and well-kept and secluded. Somewhere where there would be a chance of snow.

4. I need to _____  at night.

Cuddle. I never want to cuddle more than when it is dark outside.

5. _____ would truly be a nightmare.

Never having sex again.

6. Night time is the right time to _____ .

Bonus:  Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.

In my last dream… I was a tiny girl, no more than 6 inches tall, and I was swinging on a perch in a bird cage while Sir was reaching in to stroke and poke at me through the bars.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: Then and Now

Sex: Then & Now

sex tmi
1. Do you think sex is less important after age 50? Why or why not?

No. I don’t think sex has anything to do with age. I hope after 50 I’m still fucking and sucking my way to glory.

2. Were you ever squeamish about sex? At what age (or age range)?

Uhm, noooope.

3. When did you quit being squeamish and start to relax and enjoy sex?

N/A.

4. What is sex worth to you?

Worth to me? I’m not sure if the question is actually computing in my brain. Sex is wonderful. I’d give up cheesecake for sex.

5. What do you seek in exchange for sex?

Sex isn’t really something I bargain with? When I have sex I’m not seeking an exchange, I’m seeking mutual gratification.

6. Is your sex life better or worse now vs. five years ago? Why?

Better. I’m not attached to an asshole anymore.

7. Would you answer your mobile phone (a call or text) if it rang/dinged while you were having sex?

I have for various reasons: I was supposed to be at work while I was having sex, I recognized the ring tone as someone who only calls me in emergencies, etc.

Bonus: What is the one thing you wish your love interest understood about you?

the main thing I’d want a love interest to understand about me is that beneath my rough exterior, I am deeply sensitive, highly romantic, hyper emotional… and I love to cuddle.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!