Power Play at the Ballet (For Sir)

“I’ve been thinking, maybe we should go see a show? Opera maybe… or is the ballet in town?”

She smiled, “The opera is featuring Don Giovanni from the Mozart cycle, but the ballet is in town… Swan Lake.”

“Tough choice,” he said, clucking his tongue. “Though I was always a fan of Swan Lake…”

Joy bubbled up inside of her at his words.

“Swan Lake is my favorite, dear… so unless you really want to see Don Gio…”

He shook his head.

“Swan Lake it is, we’ll catch the opera some other time.”

“Oh, get tickets soon, won’t you dear? They’ll go fast.”

“I’ll pick them up tomorrow during lunch,” he smiled and took another swig of his drink. Continue reading

I Have an Overactive Reward System

I’ve thought about this post and how I would approach it. Being academically minded, I felt that I could go about it from a nerdy point of view and tell you all about the nucleus accumbens and neurotransmitter dopamine, that beautiful, beautiful neurotransmitter that plays a role in arousal, addiction, and sexual gratification, among many other things. I thought I might wax about seeking and liking and rodents and stimuli. Or about serotonin and happiness and maybe even a little bit about oxytocin. But I thought it all seemed a little too clinical and would probably read like an academic paper, which I am happy to be done with, for the time being.

I thought… I might talk about my old issues with addiction to MDMA and perhaps even a sexual addiction–a concept that I wrestle with and that I’ve sought therapy for, but I am still unsure if is actually real, or if it is, if it applies to me personally. But it’s all a bit messy and a bit foggy and not worth bringing up at any length more than I already have.

But my reward system, my pleasure center, my psychological Xanadu is highly active, perhaps even overactive. Continue reading

On Why We Are and Why We Are Not in a Punishment Dynamic

You cannot actually define anything in BDSM except for what the all-important acronyms stand for (Bondage/Discipline; Dominance/Submission; Sado-Masochism) [[side note, I capitalized everything just to be a Twit]] and then there is SSC(Safe, Sane, Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) and WIITWD (What It Is That We Do) and TPE (Total Power Exchange) and OTK (Over The Knee[[YES PLEASE!]]) and of course everyone’s favorite… BBBJCIMNQNS.

If you can guess that one without googling, I’ll bake you a pie (and not JUST because it’s Pi day!). Continue reading