TMI Tuesday: the Three Ls

Love, Life, and Lessons

1. Are you happy with your job? Why or Why not?

I’m happier with my current job than I have been with other jobs. However, it’s still a job and not my intended career, so my dissatisfaction is more peripheral and in the background then actively hating it.

2. What do you want?

Right now, I would really like some sleep, please.

3. Who first broke your heart?

A well meaning man who didn’t realize how fragile I was.

4. What is the biggest mistake you’ve made in a relationship?

Staying in a shit show instead of hightailing it out.

5. What did you learn from you last lover/ex-significant other?

My last ex? If they don’t adore you, they don’t deserve your love or your tears.

6. What novel has been instrumental in shaping your views at any point in your life? Why?

Ender’s Game saga—written by a homophobic/racist dick, but the ideals presented in the book set me on the path I am on now.

7. Tell us about a favorite TV broadcast show you currently enjoy? Give us a synopsis of the show.

Doctor Who. An alien travels through time and space with human companions getting into hijinks.

Bonus: What is your current favorite song to listen to over and over again?

I’ve been listening to Dangerous by Big Data ft. Joy Wave on repeat for a couple of days now.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: the Sexy Things we Do and Say

tmi_aug 26

1. Close your eyes and think about having sex with your lover. Now, what was the first image that came to your mind? Was it foreplay? What kind of sex? What position? Where?

The lecture theatre at my job. On the long conference table that dominates the “stage” area. No one else is there, or watching, it’s late, it’s quiet, no one in the building except for maybe security. The lights are dim in the theatre, except for the bright overhead lights over the table. I’m on my hands and knees on the table and he’s fucking me from behind. His palms are flat and wide, sliding up my back, stroking my skin, up into my hair, massaging my scalp, using my hair to tug me up to him, he’s biting and kissing my shoulders, his tongue is tracing my tattoos, his free hand is wrapped around my body, arm resting against my hip bone, fingers stroking the sweet space between my thigh and my pelvis, right where the joint connects… he’s whispering… whispering… and I can’t quite make out the words but the idea of what they could be makes me shiver.

2. What is that most memorable thing that you or your partner said immediately after sex?

Heh. There’s usually a lot of mumbling and sighing and and whimpering and “you okay, baby?” and “thank you, Sir/Daddy” and “that was so good.” We’re both usually pretty worn and we talk a lot during… sooooooo, yea.

3. Whether reward or punishment, a part of your body must be shown on a huge billboard in the heart of your city/town. Which body part will you select to be 14 feet tall by 48 feet wide (4.27 meters x 14.63 meters)?

My calves.

4. You are about to lose your power of speech, what’s the one thing you would want to tell someone before that happens?

No matter who I was around, I’d more than likely say: I love you–because it’s one of the most beautiful things you can say to someone and if I could never say it aloud again, that’s what I’d want to say.

5. You are stricken with a disorder that causes you to blurt out a single phrase every time you orgasm? What is that phrase?

Just for shits and giggles I’d want it to be “the Lannisters send their regards!” or “Winter is coming!” —-(Whatcha think, Sir? =P)

Bonus: If you had to make out with a friend (same sex or opposite sex) to save the world from mass destruction, whom would you pick?

I’ll assume Sir isn’t an option and go with ANY of my hot lady blogger friends. 😉

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: Bar Fly

Time for fun and cheesy pick up lines at TMI Tuesday Happy Hour

happy-hour

At the TMI Tuesday bar someone walks up to you and utters the following lines, Tell us how you would respond.

1. Would you like to fake an orgasm with me tonight?

I don’t fake orgasms, but I do break hearts.

2. Did you just fart because you are blowing me away?

The daycare is around the corner.

3. You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies. (Would you accept?)

You’ll have to file the proper papers for that.

4. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

They don’t respond well to strangers.

5. You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong.

Looks more like a kiddie sub to me.

6. You look like a hard worker, I have an opening you can fill.

I would totally use this line on someone. No but seriously, I want to use it on someone tomorrow night.

7. I don’t feel good, I think I need a shot of penis-illin.

This is lame. I hope a guy would laugh at a woman who was using this seriously.

8. If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?

I would say this jokingly to Sir every day of the week bahahaha.

Bonus:  Belly up to the bar. What’s your pleasure? Which one drink would you order and why?

Slippery Nipple
No one can miss the innuendo in this drink’s name. It is comprised of equal parts Bailey’s Irish Cream and butterscotch schnapps. There are many different drink names that start with ‘Slippery’, most contain either Bailey’s Irish Cream or butterscotch schnapps.

After Sex
This drink is made with vodka, crème de bananas, and orange juice.

Leg Spreader
Not for the faint of heart, there is nothing but liquor in this drink. It is made of four equal parts of nothing but alcohol: tequila, vodka, gin, and rum. Proceed with caution!

All Night Long
The inference in this name is probably what most people wish for, but one or two or these will have you passed out on the floor all night long. It contains sweet and sour mix, coconut rum, Kahlua, crème de cacao, and pineapple juice.

Sloe Comfortable Screw
There are many drinks that play upon the pronunciation of sloe gin—pronounced slow gin. The rest of the name is a pun on all the other ingredients as well, to create a name that is as suggestive as you could want. Sloe gin for ‘slow,’ Southern Comfort for ‘comfortable,’ and orange juice and vodka for ‘screw’—as in a Screwdriver.

 

no, no, no. None of these. My sexual innuendo drink of choice is and always will be a screaming orgasm. Vodka, Bailey’s, and Kahlua. BUT you need quality vodka or the Bailey’s will just be unpalatable. So at least Grey Goose/Belvedere quality. Though, the best top shelf Vodkas I’ve ever had the pleasure of trying are definitely Snow Queen and Heavy Water, in case you were wondering.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: Sexy Times

Welcome! Time to play TMI Tuesday “Sexy Times”

sexy times mag tmi

1. You walk into a party full of friends. One of them suddenly and quickly strips down naked. Which area of your naked friend’s body do you check out first?

I am always curious about dicks and tits, so that’s where I’d look for men and women respectively.

2. Have you ever masturbated in bed when a platonic friend or relative was sleeping in the same room or bed?

I have masturbated next to sleeping platonic friends in the same bed and I have masturbated in the same room as sleeping and awake relatives (which in my mind are always platonic, so I didn’t think that needed saying)

3. When was the first time you had a nocturnal orgasm aka a wet dream?

Man… I had to have been pretty young. They say after puberty, but I really think I was younger than that. I couldn’t tell you a certain age, but I’m fairly sensitive. I still have them pretty often. I also wake up masturbating. AND if I’m in bed with a partner, I’ve had, not necessarily complaints, but reports that I’ll wrap around them and start grinding against them.

4. Have you ever been caught naked by someone?

I’ve been caught masturbating. I’ve also been walked in on naked by several people. I try to stay naked as much as I can… so it happens.

5. Think of your dearest friend, do you think they are sexy? Why or why not?

My best friend is Sir. And yes, he’s sexy as hell. Why? I’m pretty sure my whole blog is an ode to his sexiness, so let me not ramble here.

6. If you had no choice, how many days do you think you could abstain from sex including masturbation?

I think… the longest I’ve gone is three weeks, if I remember correctly. I was on a cumming/touching ban while I was out of country… or maybe while Sir was out of town… one of those times. It was awful. I could probably go longer if he forced me to, but I was bouncing off the walls and begging constantly and just… being unbearably dirty.

Bonus: What gets you wet faster, phone sex or sexting?

Oh… phone sex for sure. I’m… such a slut for aural stimulation. Jesus fucking christmas. Sir knows this and uses it to his advantage.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: Sex, Sex, Sex

Welcome to a new week and a new TMI Tuesday. Up this week…

Sexual Practices

bug sex tmi 7-29-2014

1. How much sex is too much sex? Explain.

No such thing. Honestly, if I had no other responsibilities, I’d probably die in a bedroom from dehydration and exhaustion and be happy about doing so.

2. According to the Kinsey Institute, 18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year (how appropriate!)

a. Which group of averages would you prefer to belong?

I prefer to belong the first age group.

b. Based on your age (if listed), find your group above. Would you say you are well below, pretty close to or high above your group’s average for having sex per year?

Oh… 🙂

3. Swinging (defined here)–have you tried it? Will you try it? Do you hope/wish to try it before you die?

Honestly, by those clearly defined terms, I’ve never been a swinger. I’ve participated in three ways and orgies, and polyamory, and I had a partner of mine, not a boyfriend, just a consistent sex partner, and we went to a swinger’s club a few times to pick up another couple, but that always ended up being a foursome more than a swinging situation.

4. What is “having sex”? According to YOU and prior to this TMI Tuesday did you consider:
– Masturbation as having sex? Yes or No
– Performing oral sex as having sex? Yes or No

When I masturbate by myself I don’t think I am having sex… but I am engaging in sexual activity. When I engage in mutual masturbation with a partner… hmmm… same thing I think, though it can become “having sex”–foreplay is a part of “having sex.” But I do think Oral sex counts as having sex.

5. When was the last time you received oral sex?

Hmmm. The last month or so is kind of a blur in a lot of ways, so I don’t actually remember the last time I received it. I’m not big on asking for it. It drives me batshit crazy with pleasure and is something I am only just learning to handle. I love, love, love it, but normally I’ve got other things on my mind. Like giving him Oral sex (because I fucking love it). I would blow him every single day if my schedule would allow it.

Bonus:  What is it?

what is it July 29, 2014

La poire. A Venus or Woman of Willendorf, it looks like, especially given the prominence of the breasts and vulva.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: Relationships

Hello. Welcome to TMI Tuesday. Up this week:

Can we talk… relationships?

relationship diagram

1. What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you see an attractive person?

Well, hellooooo gorgeous.

2. What is your idea of a dream date? Describe the person and the type of date experience.

The person: Intelligent, Engaging, Witty, Charming, Flirtatious, Charismatic, Physically attractive (to me)

The date: Keep in mind, this certainly isn’t a first date with a new person, because first dates are never going to be dream dates or ideal dates (IMO). I’d like to take in an opera with someone who really appreciates opera like I do. Something beautiful and romantic and a little sad. This someone would have to understand how close to the surface my emotions lie, because opera always makes me cry, at least a little bit. We’d go back to my apartment and make a late dinner together, working quietly with and around each other in the kitchen, feeding each other tastes of unfinished courses. We’d eat, and chat or we could be silent if it was comfortable. We’d move to the balcony outside of my bedroom and share a bottle of wine or good, aged scotch and talk while the night grew darker, talk until there was a need to touch instead of speak, and we’d fall into bed together, and remain there until breakfast.

3. How many serious relationships have you had? Were you in love?

What’s the definition of a serious relationship? Is it judged based on length or “milestones” like moving in together or being engaged? Or is it based on feelings? In the case of the first, I’ve had two serious relationships. I’ve been engaged and I’ve lived with someone else. I have this problem of feeling very much in love when I’m in the heat of the moment, but later I generally realize that the relationship was a relationSHIT and was stupid and toxic and I wasn’t so much in love with them as I was completely entranced with them at the time.

I think I’ve been in love twice in my life. And neither the person I lived with or the person I was engaged to was one of those times. Though I do still have lingering hurts and pains and holes left in me from ex-fiance and ex-live in boyfriend… I’d rather not measure how much I love a person by how much I allowed them to hurt me. However, the two people that I have had real, honest “in love” feelings for have not hurt me… so maybe there is that.

4. How many casual sexual relationships have you had?

Too many.

5. What will ruin a relationship for you?

A relationship? Lack of communication, lack of intimacy, laziness, someone who doesn’t care about themselves or care to take care of themselves, someone who is unwilling to understand my goals/dreams/ambitions.

Bonus: What is your definition of sexy?

Judging based on my track record, I would say unavailability, be it emotional or sexual unavailability. That’s me being cynical.

But I think sexiness exists as an aura that people carry around them, it is borne of confidence and charisma and though it may have something to do with the way a person looks, I don’t think that the predominant factor in deciding a person’s sexiness is their looks.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: Life of the Party

Not only is he prolific with great verse but TMI Tuesday questions too. Special thanks to virtualsin.wordpress.com for once again submitting great questions this week.

Party Fears

KEEP CALM YOU'RE INVITED2

Good News: You’ve been invited to party!
Bad News: You have certain concerns. . .

1) Arrival. Are you afraid (a) that you can’t find the address, (b) that you will be early, (c) that you will be late, (d) other?

I’m not afraid I will be late, because I am always on time for work or other important functions… I am *always* late to the party. Usually because I obsessively change my clothes a dozen times or more.

2) Clothing. Are you afraid (a) you will be underdressed, (b) overdressed, (c) dressed for the wrong activity, (d) don’t have items that you need, e.g. swimsuit, (3) other?

Overdressed, as is my curse!

3) Drinks. Are you afraid that (a) you will drink too much, (b) that you will drink too little, (c) other people will drink too much, (d) there won’t be anything good that’s non-alcoholic, (e) other?

Drink too much. I’m definitely the girl with the lampshade on her head at the end of the night if I’m not careful. And it’s hard for me to back down from a challenge.

4) Food. Are you afraid that (a) the food will be too new-fangled and trendy, (b) the food will be conventional and boring, (c) there won’t be anything you want to eat, (d) there won’t be any food and you are hungry, (e) other?

I’m not a terrible picky eater, although I swear it’s like whatever party I go to… they usually have a bunch of shit with bacon all over it, and the only refreshments they ever have (aside from booze) are various sodas. I don’t eat pork or soda, and really don’t eat too many sweets. I almost always bring a bottle of water to a party.

5) Music. Are you afraid that (a) the music will be too loud, (b) there won’t be music or you won’t be able to hear it, (c) the music will be of a new genre you don’t like or can’t understand, (d) the music will be boring oldies, (e) other?

I take offense to the idea of “oldies” being boring. I suppose I’m more afraid that the music will be far too loud for good conversation and/or give me a headache. It would have to be pretty damn loud though, since I’m used to loud music.

6) Later. Are you afraid that (a) the party will end too soon and it won’t have been worth the trouble, (b) the party will go on too long, (c) other?

I’d rather the party go on too long–I can always leave. I hate when a good party breaks up too soon, and I’m usually the person that says: hey, anyone who is game, come to this bar/my house with me.

7. Afterward. Are you afraid that (a) you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be bad, (b) the you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be great, (c) that you will end up in bed with the right person and there won’t be any sex, (d) that you will end up in bed with the right person who wants sex but you are too tired, (e) other?

Before I fuck someone, I need an attraction or chemistry. My attraction, like everyone else’s, is initially appearance based (when I’m seeing people), but if I start talking to you and you’re an idiot (I’m a judgmental asshole, sorry) we’re probably not fucking. If there is not an immediate spark, we’re probably not fucking either. I used to fuck pretty indiscriminately, but I’m at the point now that if we’re going to have a one night stand, it needs to be because I fucking NEED you right then, because the chemistry between us is so unbearable.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: Never Far From My Thoughts

Some things to think about

tmi thinking

1. Name something you always carry with you?

My heart on my sleeve and my intentions in my eyes.

2. Is there anyone on your mind at the moment? Who? Why?

Yes. I’m sure he knows. Always, at least once a day.

3. If you were to be remembered for one thing, what would it be?

If my funeral were tomorrow, people would say: she had such a big heart. I hope, someday, to be remembered for more than that.

4. Tell us something new that you learned in the last month?

Nothing is ever what it seems. The spirit of a person can be unbreakable.

5. What are you pretending not to know? Why?

Many truths and some lies. Because it’s easier just to keep the peace.

6. Are you happy with other people’s perception of you?

I want to be the person that says that I don’t give a fuck and mean it, but that’s not true. With that being said, you can never really know what a person actually thinks about you, so I do my level best to try not to worry about it too much.

7. Are you generally focused on today or tomorrow?

I’m generally focused on the moment. I’m always thinking about tomorrow. Lately I’ve been dwelling on yesterday.

Bonus:  How do you eat Oreos? Which method best matches your Oreo cookie eating style?
a. Pick it up, bite into it.
b. Twist it open, eat each half separately
c. Twist it open, eat the frosting, then eat each chocolate cookie half separately.

I always dunk my Oreos in milk! If I don’t have milk, I rarely eat oreos. But if I’m grabbing one and running, I usually twist it open and eat each half separately.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: Oddball

 

PICK ONE TMI

Pick one. You must pick one. You can elaborate on your answer if you want, but you must pick one.

1. Are you male or female or other?

Born a female, will die one too, because I love being a woman.

2. Dog or cat?

I have both, but I’m probably more of a cat person, because they take less maintenance.

3. Peanut butter or wasabi peas?

Peanut butter. Crunchy. On wheat bread with bananas and honey. Because that’s the only way one should eat peanut butter.

 

Briefly explain why you made the above choices.

Check!

4. Group midnight nude swim or ‘mooning‘ strangers?

Group midnight nude swim.

5. Sneaker Pimps or IAMX?

IAMX

6. Bologna or Braunschweiger?

…Chicken.

7. Vanilla or kinky?

Kinky.

8. Rocky road or chocolate ice cream?

Vanilla! 😀

9. Red M&M or green M&M?

Blue M&M

10. Pepsi or Coke?

Water, because I don’t drink soda.

11. Mini Cooper or Fiat Abarth?

Oh, roll your eyes and call me a Silly American if you like, but the answer will always be good old muscle, baby:

2014-Camaro-Zl1-1024x640

I mean, just look at this car. If this car were a man I would scale it like a fucking tree and never come off of him.

12. Pleasure or pain? Why? Explain yourself please.

I’ll take the pain, because it can bring me pleasure, and I’ve always been a fan of having my cake and eating it too.

Bonus:  Pick one – Participate in the London World Bike Naked Ride or Japan’s Festival of the Steel Phallus affectionately known as Penis Fest properly called Kanamara Matsuri.

London World Bike Naked Ride!

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!