Telling stories, allegories, letting ourselves go

“Did you miss me, baby?”

I thought briefly about the million and one things I could or wanted to say to him when he asked me, all the little ways in which I had missed him, and all of the small ways in which I worried that things might be different or strange between us. I felt the hesitation I always feel when He returns from a trip or when I do… the small inkling that we are different people than we had been before our absence from one another. All the things that may have happened, all the words left unspoken.

“More than you could know,” I murmured. It was the truest answer I could conjure up. When I was away, learning and teaching in the neon desert, I had missed him terribly. “Did you miss me?”

“I did, Pooh.”

I peel off my clothing and stand before him in matching red and black plaid. He is amused and aroused. He loves red and black plaid. I climb onto the bed on all fours with my ass up and my back arched. My much shorter hair no longer hides my inked up shoulders.

His hands roam briefly before pushing my panties to the side and filling me with one sharp, deep thrust. I lose myself in the feel of him, and the sounds of his voice, gravelly and deep in my ear. His praises and his pleasure resonate deep within me. We are fervent and feverish. I need this. My core heats and spreads out to my skin. I feel the familiar fire in my belly early and quick. He makes me beg for the privilege. Reasserting our relationship. Reasserting that I am his and come at his pleasure. He lets me. He fucks me through my orgasm.

He talks to me through my moans and cries. He rides me hard and moans in my ear. I am wailing and praising him. How good he feels. How much I missed him. How much I missed the way he touches me. How much I need him to fill me, to mark me, to make me his again. As his climax builds, he is already working me to my second. In my haze, in my feverish little mind, my mouth keeps running and I am unaware of what I am saying. Dirty, lovely things. Baring myself to him in so many ways.

He asks if I’m going to come again. He wants me to come with him. He’s so close. Something he says, some words I can barely remember now send me over the edge for the second time. The clenching, roiling, vibrations of my body, some words that I speak make him groan from the bottom of his toes. He’s cumming, filling me  up, just the way I want. Just the way I need.

Our bodies break apart and he turns me over, onto my back. I quickly scoot my bum down the bed and wrap my legs around the back of his thighs. His hands peel my bra down and he pulls my heavy breasts out. His fingers stroke over my skin. He praises my tits: how soft and big and beautiful they are, such pretty nipples, such a sight. I blush beneath him as he admires me. We curl around one another like the fog outside the windows, curling round the city streets. I fall asleep before I know that I am tired.

TMI Tuesday: Sexy Times

Welcome! Time to play TMI Tuesday “Sexy Times”

sexy times mag tmi

1. You walk into a party full of friends. One of them suddenly and quickly strips down naked. Which area of your naked friend’s body do you check out first?

I am always curious about dicks and tits, so that’s where I’d look for men and women respectively.

2. Have you ever masturbated in bed when a platonic friend or relative was sleeping in the same room or bed?

I have masturbated next to sleeping platonic friends in the same bed and I have masturbated in the same room as sleeping and awake relatives (which in my mind are always platonic, so I didn’t think that needed saying)

3. When was the first time you had a nocturnal orgasm aka a wet dream?

Man… I had to have been pretty young. They say after puberty, but I really think I was younger than that. I couldn’t tell you a certain age, but I’m fairly sensitive. I still have them pretty often. I also wake up masturbating. AND if I’m in bed with a partner, I’ve had, not necessarily complaints, but reports that I’ll wrap around them and start grinding against them.

4. Have you ever been caught naked by someone?

I’ve been caught masturbating. I’ve also been walked in on naked by several people. I try to stay naked as much as I can… so it happens.

5. Think of your dearest friend, do you think they are sexy? Why or why not?

My best friend is Sir. And yes, he’s sexy as hell. Why? I’m pretty sure my whole blog is an ode to his sexiness, so let me not ramble here.

6. If you had no choice, how many days do you think you could abstain from sex including masturbation?

I think… the longest I’ve gone is three weeks, if I remember correctly. I was on a cumming/touching ban while I was out of country… or maybe while Sir was out of town… one of those times. It was awful. I could probably go longer if he forced me to, but I was bouncing off the walls and begging constantly and just… being unbearably dirty.

Bonus: What gets you wet faster, phone sex or sexting?

Oh… phone sex for sure. I’m… such a slut for aural stimulation. Jesus fucking christmas. Sir knows this and uses it to his advantage.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

You’re the Secret That I Desire, I Can’t Keep That to Myself

She blinked in and out of consciousness; the lights were bright, too bright, when her eyes opened, but the dark scared her. Still… she drifted. Once, when she half-woke, he and the doctor were standing over her prone body, discussing her recovery process. The conversation floated in and out of her ears, with snippets of words here or there, words like “weak” and “dangerous” and “caution;” Words that served to do little more than frighten her back into the blackness of unconsciousness. Once, she thought she felt his hand against her cheek, though it might have been a dream.

When she was well enough to leave the hospital, she spent six weeks on pseudo-bedrest, flitting between the bed, the sofa, physical therapy appointments, and long, steamy baths that left her feeling better each time she stepped out of them. He was attentive and concerned, but quiet, and she hoped he wasn’t having second thoughts about the operation. He washed her hair during her baths, and escorted her to physical therapy. He cooked her meals for her, and snuggled close, but not too close or hard, to her in the evenings. They watched television shows together, though nothing too funny, or she would laugh and upset the stitches. He read her to sleep some nights, and others, she would drift quickly in the early evenings and be out until well past dawn the next day. Time passed, quick and slow and all at once. Continue reading

A Treatise on Orgasm Control (In My Dynamic)

I think the question I am asked most often about orgasm control is tied between why and how?

Why would you voluntarily stop masturbating?
Why would you voluntarily edge yourself beyond reason?
Why would you hold yourself at the threshhold during sex?
Why don’t you just have an orgasm?
Why does he get to cum and you don’t?
Why does he get to decide how, when, and how often?
Why do you consider this a BDSM practice and not just being used by your partner?

How do you stand it?
How do you hold off?
How do you have this much will power?
How do you resist “cheating?”
How would he find out if you did “cheat?”
How healthy is it for you to do this?
How does this effect your mental health?

Continue reading

Fetlife is Full of Silly Surveys

  1. What’s your favorite aspect of BDSM (B/D D/S S/M)?
    Uhm, I think that b/d and s/m contribute equally to my preferred form of d/s… so all of the above? Or maybe just d/s. Hmmm.
  2. What aspect of BDSM do you engage in most?
    Erm, probably d/s.
  3. Do you participate in body worship?
    I guess you could say so. I participate in cock worship, for sure.
  4. What’s the sexiest thing about your partner(s)?
    Wow. That’s a bit hard to choose… Man. Well I could cop out and say that his mind is the sexiest thing about him, seeing as it is responsible for so many of our best ‘sessions.’ I could say his voice, because it has the ability to make me weak at the knees. I could say his eyes because one look can still me in my tracks. I could say his hands, his shoulders, his neck… I could go on. He’s sexy. haha.
  5. What do you think they think is your sexiest attribute?
    Judging just from his reactions alone? I know he’s well and aurally stimulated like I am, so I could say my voice, and I could easily say my tits or my ass, but it might be my face. According to him, I wear everything on my face, and I do know that he delights in seeing my delight on my face. I could be wrong though.
  6. Do you do a lot of dirty talk or sexting?
    Yep.
  7. What’s the sexiest thing your partner(s) can say to turn you on or help get you “there”?
    Anything? Listening to him speak is a treat unto itself, but when he says/growls/moans Fatal (myname), Pooh, baby… I feel like I could melt. Also, recently, when he says: Open up your thighs, I want to be able to smell you/taste you on the air–uhm. Fuck.
  8. What’s the sexiest thing you say to your partner(s) to turn them on or help get them “there”?
    If I had to guess I’d say that when I praise his cock or call him Daddy, or admit something that I’m shying away from… or maybe when I say his name when I’m coming/about to come.
  9. Do you own a lot of sex toys?
    Not a lot, no. Enough, I’d say… I could probably stand to add a few more.
  10. Do you or your partner(s) worry that sex toys might hinder your sexual relationship?
    I don’t think sex toys hinder my sexual relationship, I think they add a bit to it. And I have yet to experience desensitization from my Hitachi or my Wahl.
  11. Do you and your partner(s) practice orgasm control (forced orgasms or orgasm denial, edging, etc)?
    He controls my orgasms. I have to ask when we’re together. I don’t always get to when I want to, and I don’t always get to stop when I want to.
  12. Do you/does your partner(s) “squirt”?
    Yes, I do. But I’m a little shy/embarrassed about it. A fact which I find both delights and probably frustrates Sir.
  13. Are you or your partner(s) multi-orgasmic? What is the most number of orgasms you or your partner(s) has had in a session?
    Uhm, I am multi-orgasmic. I think I’ve had six or seven in a little under an hour and I was ready to tap out and be done because I felt like I was going to pass out. He’s got the stamina of a horse, so he’s a little less multi-orgasmic.
  14. Do you and your partner(s) utilize a safety word and if so, have you ever had to use it?
    I don’t use a safety word with Sir. I don’t need to. Beyond an inherent amount of trust, there is also quite excellent communication going on the whole time. He has a tendency to ask me continuously throughout if I am okay, and if it is good, etc.
  15. Do you practice S.S.C. or R.A.C.K.?
    RACK is closer to what we practice.
  16. Do you have any kinks that might be considered strange or out of the norm (even by kinky community standards)?
    Uhm, I have a serial killer clown fetish (the Joker) and the masochism is strong in this one. But, I mean really strong, like sometimes I fantasize about broken bones and evisceration kind of strong. I need a Sadist who can keep both of us in check, which I thankfully have.
  17. Describe your idea of Vanilla sex.
    My idea of vanilla sex? Sex without a single element of BDSM or “kink” involved. No throat grabbing, hair pulling, ass slapping, no calling him Daddy, no taking orders. When I think of pure and straight vanilla sex, the first thought/visual I have isn’t what (I imagine) most people have (missionary sex on a bed)–I think I just imagine something a little juvenile, like necking teenagers, with lots of kissing and humping, and quick fumbling of clothes, maybe in the back of a car seat on the side of the road on a warm night in August. Maybe that’s just because I haven’t had just straight vanilla sex in that long. I don’t see a problem with vanilla sex. Sex is sex and I delight in it no matter what, but I prefer sex with elements of bdsm.
  18. Describe your ideal BDSM play session.
    Ideal BDSM session. Hmm. I suppose ideally, it would include some heavy impact play, some sensory deprivation, a little limit pushing, amazing sex? Or, optionally, some 50s fetish roleplay… it’s one of my favorite games. haha. It’s so hard to describe one’s “ideal” scene.
  19. Describe a fantasy you would like to act out.
    I’ve been curious about e-stim and firecupping, branding, cell popping, etc. I’ve also been obsessed with some highly public play.
  20. What advice do you have for those just entering into the lifestyle?
    Communication, Trust, Patience, a Willingness to Explore.

TMI Tuesday: Happy Endings

Happy Endings

Happy_ending_tmi

1. What is the best way you like to be brought to orgasm?

Penetrative sex or Oral sex.

2. What is the best way to make you orgasm quickly?

Talk dirty to me. Also, as I’ve recently learned, a Hitachi magic wand.

3. What is the typical or usual way that a lover chooses to bring you to orgasm?

Nothing is ever typical, even if it may seem that way. But I think his favorite way is to edge me to the point of insanity for awhile, and then make me beg for it on the cusp of losing it.

4. After a night of sexy play, how do you like to end the evening?

Shower/bathe together, then burrow in against him and pass out.

5. Have you ever been given a “happy ending” from a professional (e.g., Tantric massage) or at an erotic massage parlor?

I have not.

(Some of you answered a similar question April 2013)

6. Tell us about something you tried to end? Did you go cold turkey? Did you succeed? Was it a happy ending?

Hmmm, I quit one-night stands with strangers cold turkey. Successful? Yes. Happy ending? Sometimes I still have the urge for something dangerous and crazy, but spiritually, I feel more fulfilled for now.

Bonus: Do you like to give erotic “happy endings”? Tell us about your technique.

Heh. I LOVE giving surprise oral sex. Not necessarily a happy ending to a massage, but I love to spring it on him when I’m ravenous for it. Peel the trousers down and take it one gulp while I struggle and gag. It’s a happy ending for everyone.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Fatal’s First Time (with a Hitachi)

It seems I’ve gone and got myself a Hitachi magic wand. I’ve been frittering about for a year now, trying to decide if I want one, if it is for me, if I’d enjoy it, if it’s worth it—well, it seems I’ve taken the dive.

I wish I could share with you, adequately, the exultation and pure glee that resonated in Sir’s voice when I was showing/telling him about the Hitachi.

“You’re in sooooo much trouble,” he said. Continue reading