TMI Tuesday: Sex, Sex, Sex

Welcome to a new week and a new TMI Tuesday. Up this week…

Sexual Practices

bug sex tmi 7-29-2014

1. How much sex is too much sex? Explain.

No such thing. Honestly, if I had no other responsibilities, I’d probably die in a bedroom from dehydration and exhaustion and be happy about doing so.

2. According to the Kinsey Institute, 18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year (how appropriate!)

a. Which group of averages would you prefer to belong?

I prefer to belong the first age group.

b. Based on your age (if listed), find your group above. Would you say you are well below, pretty close to or high above your group’s average for having sex per year?

Oh… 🙂

3. Swinging (defined here)–have you tried it? Will you try it? Do you hope/wish to try it before you die?

Honestly, by those clearly defined terms, I’ve never been a swinger. I’ve participated in three ways and orgies, and polyamory, and I had a partner of mine, not a boyfriend, just a consistent sex partner, and we went to a swinger’s club a few times to pick up another couple, but that always ended up being a foursome more than a swinging situation.

4. What is “having sex”? According to YOU and prior to this TMI Tuesday did you consider:
– Masturbation as having sex? Yes or No
– Performing oral sex as having sex? Yes or No

When I masturbate by myself I don’t think I am having sex… but I am engaging in sexual activity. When I engage in mutual masturbation with a partner… hmmm… same thing I think, though it can become “having sex”–foreplay is a part of “having sex.” But I do think Oral sex counts as having sex.

5. When was the last time you received oral sex?

Hmmm. The last month or so is kind of a blur in a lot of ways, so I don’t actually remember the last time I received it. I’m not big on asking for it. It drives me batshit crazy with pleasure and is something I am only just learning to handle. I love, love, love it, but normally I’ve got other things on my mind. Like giving him Oral sex (because I fucking love it). I would blow him every single day if my schedule would allow it.

Bonus:  What is it?

what is it July 29, 2014

La poire. A Venus or Woman of Willendorf, it looks like, especially given the prominence of the breasts and vulva.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

He Fucked Me So Good He Broke Me

He canes my ass. He canes my thighs–the backs and the front. He canes me over my tattoos and they are ultra sensitive. It’s a good girl spanking, because he was craving putting cane to flesh and I asked him for it. He increases the weight of his swing with every ‘thwack’ against my skin and it makes me wiggle from foot to foot and whine. The most painful spot, undoubtedly, is just below my ass cheeks, right on the high tops of my thighs. The arousal in his voice increases with every single one of my strangled “owwwwweeeees.”

Every time I answer “I don’t know” instead of yes or no, he raps me hard, just above the knee–on second thought… that may be the most painful spot. He keeps it up until I start getting sassy, and my panties are soaked, through and through. I am bouncing back and forth on the balls of my feet, but not because of the pain, because I am wet and desperate for him to hurt me, to be rough with me, to fuck me. I want his hands on me, in place of the cane.

“Get up on the bed, on your knees.”
Continue reading

You’re the Secret That I Desire, I Can’t Keep That to Myself

She blinked in and out of consciousness; the lights were bright, too bright, when her eyes opened, but the dark scared her. Still… she drifted. Once, when she half-woke, he and the doctor were standing over her prone body, discussing her recovery process. The conversation floated in and out of her ears, with snippets of words here or there, words like “weak” and “dangerous” and “caution;” Words that served to do little more than frighten her back into the blackness of unconsciousness. Once, she thought she felt his hand against her cheek, though it might have been a dream.

When she was well enough to leave the hospital, she spent six weeks on pseudo-bedrest, flitting between the bed, the sofa, physical therapy appointments, and long, steamy baths that left her feeling better each time she stepped out of them. He was attentive and concerned, but quiet, and she hoped he wasn’t having second thoughts about the operation. He washed her hair during her baths, and escorted her to physical therapy. He cooked her meals for her, and snuggled close, but not too close or hard, to her in the evenings. They watched television shows together, though nothing too funny, or she would laugh and upset the stitches. He read her to sleep some nights, and others, she would drift quickly in the early evenings and be out until well past dawn the next day. Time passed, quick and slow and all at once. Continue reading

A Treatise on Orgasm Control (In My Dynamic)

I think the question I am asked most often about orgasm control is tied between why and how?

Why would you voluntarily stop masturbating?
Why would you voluntarily edge yourself beyond reason?
Why would you hold yourself at the threshhold during sex?
Why don’t you just have an orgasm?
Why does he get to cum and you don’t?
Why does he get to decide how, when, and how often?
Why do you consider this a BDSM practice and not just being used by your partner?

How do you stand it?
How do you hold off?
How do you have this much will power?
How do you resist “cheating?”
How would he find out if you did “cheat?”
How healthy is it for you to do this?
How does this effect your mental health?

Continue reading

When I Undo My Belt, You Melt and Walk Away, With a Red, Red, Red Welt

The feel of his stubble against my cheeks makes me melt. I kiss his forehead and the tip of his nose. I nip the apple of his cheek and he growls and lets his finger tips press against my spine.

I crawl between his knees, feeling well and truly submissive, and when I am like this, I find that I am my most shy.

I cannot form dirty and devious words, but I do ask first:

“I want something.” Continue reading

Fetlife is Full of Silly Surveys

  1. What’s your favorite aspect of BDSM (B/D D/S S/M)?
    Uhm, I think that b/d and s/m contribute equally to my preferred form of d/s… so all of the above? Or maybe just d/s. Hmmm.
  2. What aspect of BDSM do you engage in most?
    Erm, probably d/s.
  3. Do you participate in body worship?
    I guess you could say so. I participate in cock worship, for sure.
  4. What’s the sexiest thing about your partner(s)?
    Wow. That’s a bit hard to choose… Man. Well I could cop out and say that his mind is the sexiest thing about him, seeing as it is responsible for so many of our best ‘sessions.’ I could say his voice, because it has the ability to make me weak at the knees. I could say his eyes because one look can still me in my tracks. I could say his hands, his shoulders, his neck… I could go on. He’s sexy. haha.
  5. What do you think they think is your sexiest attribute?
    Judging just from his reactions alone? I know he’s well and aurally stimulated like I am, so I could say my voice, and I could easily say my tits or my ass, but it might be my face. According to him, I wear everything on my face, and I do know that he delights in seeing my delight on my face. I could be wrong though.
  6. Do you do a lot of dirty talk or sexting?
  7. What’s the sexiest thing your partner(s) can say to turn you on or help get you “there”?
    Anything? Listening to him speak is a treat unto itself, but when he says/growls/moans Fatal (myname), Pooh, baby… I feel like I could melt. Also, recently, when he says: Open up your thighs, I want to be able to smell you/taste you on the air–uhm. Fuck.
  8. What’s the sexiest thing you say to your partner(s) to turn them on or help get them “there”?
    If I had to guess I’d say that when I praise his cock or call him Daddy, or admit something that I’m shying away from… or maybe when I say his name when I’m coming/about to come.
  9. Do you own a lot of sex toys?
    Not a lot, no. Enough, I’d say… I could probably stand to add a few more.
  10. Do you or your partner(s) worry that sex toys might hinder your sexual relationship?
    I don’t think sex toys hinder my sexual relationship, I think they add a bit to it. And I have yet to experience desensitization from my Hitachi or my Wahl.
  11. Do you and your partner(s) practice orgasm control (forced orgasms or orgasm denial, edging, etc)?
    He controls my orgasms. I have to ask when we’re together. I don’t always get to when I want to, and I don’t always get to stop when I want to.
  12. Do you/does your partner(s) “squirt”?
    Yes, I do. But I’m a little shy/embarrassed about it. A fact which I find both delights and probably frustrates Sir.
  13. Are you or your partner(s) multi-orgasmic? What is the most number of orgasms you or your partner(s) has had in a session?
    Uhm, I am multi-orgasmic. I think I’ve had six or seven in a little under an hour and I was ready to tap out and be done because I felt like I was going to pass out. He’s got the stamina of a horse, so he’s a little less multi-orgasmic.
  14. Do you and your partner(s) utilize a safety word and if so, have you ever had to use it?
    I don’t use a safety word with Sir. I don’t need to. Beyond an inherent amount of trust, there is also quite excellent communication going on the whole time. He has a tendency to ask me continuously throughout if I am okay, and if it is good, etc.
  15. Do you practice S.S.C. or R.A.C.K.?
    RACK is closer to what we practice.
  16. Do you have any kinks that might be considered strange or out of the norm (even by kinky community standards)?
    Uhm, I have a serial killer clown fetish (the Joker) and the masochism is strong in this one. But, I mean really strong, like sometimes I fantasize about broken bones and evisceration kind of strong. I need a Sadist who can keep both of us in check, which I thankfully have.
  17. Describe your idea of Vanilla sex.
    My idea of vanilla sex? Sex without a single element of BDSM or “kink” involved. No throat grabbing, hair pulling, ass slapping, no calling him Daddy, no taking orders. When I think of pure and straight vanilla sex, the first thought/visual I have isn’t what (I imagine) most people have (missionary sex on a bed)–I think I just imagine something a little juvenile, like necking teenagers, with lots of kissing and humping, and quick fumbling of clothes, maybe in the back of a car seat on the side of the road on a warm night in August. Maybe that’s just because I haven’t had just straight vanilla sex in that long. I don’t see a problem with vanilla sex. Sex is sex and I delight in it no matter what, but I prefer sex with elements of bdsm.
  18. Describe your ideal BDSM play session.
    Ideal BDSM session. Hmm. I suppose ideally, it would include some heavy impact play, some sensory deprivation, a little limit pushing, amazing sex? Or, optionally, some 50s fetish roleplay… it’s one of my favorite games. haha. It’s so hard to describe one’s “ideal” scene.
  19. Describe a fantasy you would like to act out.
    I’ve been curious about e-stim and firecupping, branding, cell popping, etc. I’ve also been obsessed with some highly public play.
  20. What advice do you have for those just entering into the lifestyle?
    Communication, Trust, Patience, a Willingness to Explore.

So I Bought a Wahl

What is a Wahl you might ask? heh.

The Wahl is a powerful all body massager–quite like the Hitachi Magic Wand. I bought the Wahl on a whim because of the amazing review Epiphora gave it.

Let me give you the Cons of this toy first.

It can be loud, but it’s not hard to make it quiet. There’s some rattling metal inside, and I haven’t been arsed to open it up and fix it yet, but I might. It’s clunky and doesn’t look appealing. However, I should note that it’s a lot smaller than it looks on the box.

That’s it. That’s all the cons.

The point of this post isn’t necessarily to gush (haha) about the Wahl, but I am going to tell you the main three reasons I am happy I made this purchase, and why you should probably make the purchase too.

1) Affordability. As Epiphora noted HOLY FUCKING SHIT. It’s 15 dollars on Amazon and has free shipping if you’re a Prime member (PS, if you use amazon even moderately, why aren’t you a Prime member?)

2) It’s powerful. Not really sure if it’s as powerful as the Hitachi, haven’t looked, don’t care. It is powerful without numbing your clit/whole pubic area like my beloved Hitachi does. It also has a generous cord (8.5 feet) and attachments. Surprisingly, I like that the head weighs more than the arm of the toy, it lends for an extra pressure on my clit.

3) This is probably the most important reason: 2014-04-15 01.48.53

I love my Hitachi. I really do. BUT listen. THIS spot applicator is the greatest thing EVER. And I know you can get attachments for the Hitachi and I’ve just been lazy about upgrading mine… but this spot applicator comes with the Wahl, and guess what? It’s the perfect size to pin-point all of that deep vibration goodness right into your clit. No numbness. No awkward, big head. Just straight clit action. It makes me squirt easier than the Hitachi. I was shocked. Also, please ignore my second grade finger drawing skills. Thanks.


So I bought the Wahl. My recent twitter addiction demanded that I both announce my decision to buy it and my thoughts after first using it. Let me back track a little bit here. I told Twitter about my imminent buying plans, about my first orgasm–all fine and good. But… you know who I didn’t tell?



I bought a toy, used a toy for the first time (PS, we were texting WHILE I was using the toy), told the world about it, and then didn’t tell Sir. It’s not that I was hiding it from him–I did have eventual plans about telling him or maybe just showing it to him the next time I saw him. After liking it so much, I certainly wasn’t going to shove it in a drawer. But I didn’t get to tell him, because just like he reads my blog, turns out that when I mentioned in passing (a few times) that I had a twitter, he actually looked at it periodically. This is what I get for assuming he doesn’t care.

So I committed a few big “no-nos” but let me tell you a little something about Sir.

He finds me highly amusing sometimes–sort of like a wild jungle cat (really a kitten playing in the garden) who is amusing to study. I don’t mean this in a negative way toward either of us, but in our dynamic, he is definitely the predator and I’m just traipsing through. Though—well. More on that later.

So I had no idea he knew about the toy until five days after my trial run. He finally confronted me about it with more than a hint of amusement in his voice. He chided me gently about depriving him of getting to be there for the first use. When it came out that I had orgasmed while texting him without A) asking permission and B) telling him he realllllly laid it on thick and then laughed at me. Consider the verbal banter a lighthearted slap on the wrist. He wasn’t really serious and certainly wasn’t mad or disappointed.

“There will still be a fun/pun-ishment for this, little girl,” he said.

The next time we were together, I happened to have house guests. It was late at night and sequestered in my room, he made me show him the Wahl and the only attachment I used–clearly the best one, he agreed. Though make no mistake, he would become a fan of the “Power Disc (see above)” too. I begged off of the spanking (which would come later) because of the house guests. Though he very nearly didn’t give a fuck, because (and I FIND THIS UNBELIEVABLY HOT) he doesn’t care who knows or how embarrassed I get.

He made me tell him the narrative again. The why and the how and the how long. When he didn’t like my answers he pinched my nipples in lieu of spanking me (allowing me my modesty).

“Tell me, has your discipline been lacking? Have I been neglecting you, is that what I’ve been doing?”

“Noooo, daddy.”

“No? Then whatever else could I have wrong, hmm? That you didn’t feel you had to tell me?” he clucked his tongue. “What am I to do with you?”

“I don’t know, daddy.”

“You are going to get a sound spanking. But tonight I think we’re going to figure out just how much more you like this toy over your other ones.”

“But it’s so loud and there are guests… please, don’t make me.”

“I don’t care, Fatal. You’ll just have to suffer the embarrassment. This is part of your punishment for trying to…” he chuckled. “Sneak this past me.”

I protested. Mainly because I would be horrified if I had to explain what the power tool noise coming out of my bedroom was.

“Fatal, girl… my little Pooh… you must have some sort of punishment. And besides, I know what a little slut you are, the danger will just make it so much better for you. And don’t try to deny it.”

Quite graciously, he let me perch on top of the Wahl and ride it to help me muffle the sound while I edged. In spite of being very useful for that purpose, riding the Wahl made my edging that much harder.

He began slow, letting me use the Wahl on its lowest setting. Even still, after only a few moments, I had to beg for relief. He let me lift my hips long enough to ease the building pressure, and then I had to get back on. I explained to him why I was bad. What I had done wrong. Why I was wrong. I told him I wanted to be a good girl. I told him I was sorry, I didn’t want to be a bad girl. I begged for relief. He granted it. The pressure eased. I sat back down.

“How much of this can you handle, Pooh?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you sorry for keeping this from me?”

“I’m very sorry I kept this from you.”

He reiterated one more time that he wasn’t angry or disappointed. He was amused, but I needed to be disciplined. I knew, I said. And he made me turn the Wahl on high.

The Wahl on high with the pin-point attachment isn’t something I can describe. I must have (nearly) screamed to be let up, that I was going to come, three or four times in as many minutes. Each time, I was only allowed up for a moment before pressing my clit back down against the toy.

“Should I let you come, baby?”


“Why not?”

“Because I don’t deserve to come. Because I’ve been a bad girl. And bad girls don’t deserve it.”

Even when I’m in trouble… I love to watch his face, his reactions. Disciplining me in this way turns him on immensely. He loves it when I honestly know my place, without prompting from him, when I understand that my body is his.

One time I cried… tears flowing openly, mostly at the lack of control I felt. My control is so strong… my body so trained… but edging with the Wahl is a new challenge. I cried and I asked him to let me ease up off of the toy. He counted down an extra ten seconds.

“Get up,” he said firmly, as I felt my orgasm push nearly off of the edge.

That one exhausted me. But he wasn’t done. He’s never done. He always wants more. He always wants to push me harder. I am always a willing victim.

“One last time, baby, get down on the toy.”

He stroked his cock while I shuddered and trembled atop the Wahl, talking to him the whole time. He worked himself while I told him what I needed (him), while I told him how sorry I was (very), while I told him what I deserved (nothing).

“Do you want to come now, baby?” he asked.

“I don’t deserve it.”

“You don’t… but I am a good Sir… and I might let you if you really want it.”

“I don’t want it. I’ve been bad… and I don’t deserve it,” I squirmed atop the toy and blinked away my tears. “I don’t want to come, Daddy,” I whispered.

“Good girl,” he muttered as he came.

“Get off of the toy,” he said.

“What have we learned?” he asked.

“I shouldn’t hide things from you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“I should ask you or tell you what I need or want.”

“You should.”

He smiled and made me a promise: I was owed a spanking and I would get one.

Because even if I’m not really in trouble, there’s still a lesson to be learned.

Don’t Waste Your Time On Me, You Are Already the Voice Inside of My Head

We talk and compete and verbally spar. We talk about running game on others and each other–the art of it, as it were.

We flirt. How rare to flirt with with your partner… to make the blood boil to make the pulse rise. We flirt.

It becomes tense. Intense. His voice drops octaves, my thighs clench. I bite my lips.

He threatens an evening of true seduction. I counter threaten. We make plans in a loose and noncommittal way.

The hour grows later. The talk grows more serious. The desire rises.

Impact play. Continue reading

TMI Tuesday: Background Music

Thank you to my friend Jz at A Reluctant Bitch Blog for presenting the idea of background music for this week’s TMI Tuesday.


Wouldn’t life be more interesting if it was punctuated by background music in certain situations? Yes of course it would!

Below I have given you the situation, you name the background music that should play. Have fun, it’s the soundtrack of your life.


1. When you wake up in the morning.

Supermassive Black Hole by MUSE

2. When you climax during sex.

Crave You by Flight Facilities (Adventure Club dubstep remix)

3. When you urinate.

Run, Freedom, Run from Urinetown the Musical

4. When you walk into your home after a long day of work.

Mr Brightside by the Killers

5. When you take the first sip of your favorite beverage.

You Go To My Head by Billie Holiday ❤

Bonus: When you are reprimanding your kids or yelling at your significant other.

Coming Undone by KoRn

Bonus, Bonus: When you are having sexual relations.

Gods and Monsters by Lana Del Rey


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: Happy Endings

Happy Endings


1. What is the best way you like to be brought to orgasm?

Penetrative sex or Oral sex.

2. What is the best way to make you orgasm quickly?

Talk dirty to me. Also, as I’ve recently learned, a Hitachi magic wand.

3. What is the typical or usual way that a lover chooses to bring you to orgasm?

Nothing is ever typical, even if it may seem that way. But I think his favorite way is to edge me to the point of insanity for awhile, and then make me beg for it on the cusp of losing it.

4. After a night of sexy play, how do you like to end the evening?

Shower/bathe together, then burrow in against him and pass out.

5. Have you ever been given a “happy ending” from a professional (e.g., Tantric massage) or at an erotic massage parlor?

I have not.

(Some of you answered a similar question April 2013)

6. Tell us about something you tried to end? Did you go cold turkey? Did you succeed? Was it a happy ending?

Hmmm, I quit one-night stands with strangers cold turkey. Successful? Yes. Happy ending? Sometimes I still have the urge for something dangerous and crazy, but spiritually, I feel more fulfilled for now.

Bonus: Do you like to give erotic “happy endings”? Tell us about your technique.

Heh. I LOVE giving surprise oral sex. Not necessarily a happy ending to a massage, but I love to spring it on him when I’m ravenous for it. Peel the trousers down and take it one gulp while I struggle and gag. It’s a happy ending for everyone.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!