I’ve thought about this post and how I would approach it. Being academically minded, I felt that I could go about it from a nerdy point of view and tell you all about the nucleus accumbens and neurotransmitter dopamine, that beautiful, beautiful neurotransmitter that plays a role in arousal, addiction, and sexual gratification, among many other things. I thought I might wax about seeking and liking and rodents and stimuli. Or about serotonin and happiness and maybe even a little bit about oxytocin. But I thought it all seemed a little too clinical and would probably read like an academic paper, which I am happy to be done with, for the time being.
I thought… I might talk about my old issues with addiction to MDMA and perhaps even a sexual addiction–a concept that I wrestle with and that I’ve sought therapy for, but I am still unsure if is actually real, or if it is, if it applies to me personally. But it’s all a bit messy and a bit foggy and not worth bringing up at any length more than I already have.
But my reward system, my pleasure center, my psychological Xanadu is highly active, perhaps even overactive. Continue reading