TMI: My Porn Problems

My late TMI Tuesday post… and also my first world problem of the week:

 

That moment when your fetish/kink/interest is SO niche and so specific. Rule 34 almost doesn’t apply. But I’m still holding out for Rule 35

Found on pinterest. Not sure the source and Google image produces nothing, but this is totally accurate for how I feel.

Found on pinterest. Not sure the source and Google image produces nothing, but this is totally accurate for how I feel.

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Disclaimer: I feel like posting but don’t feel like any of my posts are polished enough, so I thought I’d share my porn woes instead. Boo.

So You Want to Give a Spanking

Let me tell you something… of the all the emails/tumblr asks I get, they could easily be divided into just a few categories:

  1. OMG Sir is So Hot Can I fuck him?
  2. OMG Fatal is So Hot Can I fuck her?
  3. OMG you guys are so hot can I join you?
  4. Hate Mail
  5. I think I know you/I think I saw you/I want to know you/Personal Questions
  6. How-tos/Advice

Continue reading

TMI Tuesday: The Ways You Paint Me

Color is everywhere–nature, food, clothing, skin, animals. Different colors symbolize or mean different things in different cultures. Finally, color affects mood.

Rainbowtmi

From your life, tell us about an object, experience or idea related to each of the colors of the spectrum:

1. Red:
The way I burn for him and him alone. Flames that consume me, threatening to fill my lungs and drown me in heat… the hue of my cheeks when he says beautiful or filthy words to me… the colour that his hand leaves behind on my skin.

2. Orange:
His vivacity… the way he makes me laugh on a bad day, even when I think no one else can…
3. Yellow:
The bruises ten days later, still marring my thighs and cheeks and feet… reminding me of lessons learned and the sweet pleasure that comes from the torment of pain… the way I feel when a coworker comments on my marks and I’m scrambling for an answer because I couldn’t possibly tell them what a depraved girl I have been…
4. Green:
The impossible feeling of jealousy when other eyes move over him, sizing him up, taking in all that he is, coveting what I want to  only be mine…
5. Blue:
The unfathomable depths of his eyes, all at once beautiful and terrible, all-knowing and unknowable, full of passion and longing, stern with command, dominance, dark and light, reflecting winter storms and snow clouds, bleeding out intensity that stops me in my tracks…
6. Violet:
What it feels like to hear him speak in his mother tongue to me in quiet moments of intimacy, voice husky, raspy, dark… growling out the syllables in beautiful lyricism and desperate intonation… and even the words I do not yet know the meaning of… I can hear the melody… I know the song…

 

Bonus: What is the color of sex?
Golden, like stars exploding behind my eyes, supernovas, while you whisper sweet and dirty nothings, the need in your voice makes a fire move through me and when you plead with me to whisper your name… *your* name and no one else’s, only yours because that is who and what I am—yours… molten, shining gold, like the way I feel when you tell me in the middle of sex how beautiful and desirable I am, even if in that moment, I struggle to believe it, I know your words are true because you’re saying them… honeyed bronze like the colour of your hair, and like the way I feel, glowing from the inside out with an ethereal light, like I am precious because you are so deep inside of my body and my mind, how I could not be…

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

I’m Not All Here, But I’m Not Gone Either

Several people have asked about and wondered why I’ve been so quiet lately… why I haven’t been posting much. Some have even expressed worry that Sir and I are “on the rocks” or that ever-clicking clock has clicked its last. I assure you, this isn’t the case.

I’ve started a post 4 times in the last two days. I have things I want to say. I have experiences I want to talk about.

I’ve been busy… work, other extracurriculars that need not be mentioned, and all that sex I’m having that I’m not writing about. All the self discovery and the hot, the illicit, the raw moments that I’ve experienced.

But I feel… stymied. I’m deep in a creative rut. I don’t have the energy, I’ve been stressed out, my thoughts aren’t flowing. When I’m stressed I feel emotionally cut off, so to speak. And so much of my writing has to do with my emotions… with the things I feel. If it didn’t, my writing would read like an IKEA instruction manual: insert rod A into slot B.

I kid of course… IKEA instructions don’t read that easily.

I lurk a lot. I read everything you all write. I start posts. I have blank drafts. Some drafts have three words. Some only one. Some have paragraphs of terrible, unfeeling writing. Some are just angry rants at myself. I hoard ideas for when I think I’ll be able to do them justice again. I have topics to write about. I have experiences I want to share. I’m just trying to conjure the words that I want to convey.

Music Appreciation Monday: Trembling Adored Tousled Bird Mad Girl

MaM

One of my favorite bands of all time. Probably one of my favorite, if not my favorite song by them–though rumour has it that they hate it and have only ever performed it live once. But man this song… it makes me burn.

“Burn”
By: The Cure

“Don’t look don’t look” the shadows breathe
Whispering me away from you
“Don’t wake at night to watch her sleep
You know that you will always lose
This trembling
Adored
Tousled bird mad girl…”
But every night I burn
But every night I call your name
Every night I burn
Every night I fall again
“Oh don’t talk of love” the shadows purr

Murmuring me away from you
“Don’t talk of worlds that never were
The end is all that’s ever true
There’s nothing you can ever say
Nothing you can ever do…”
Still every night I burn
Every night I scream your name
Every night I burn
Every night the dream’s the same
Every night I burn
Waiting for my only friend
Every night I burn
Waiting for the world to end

“Just paint your face” the shadows smile
Slipping me away from you
“Oh it doesn’t matter how you hide
Find you if we’re wanting to
So slide back down and close your eyes
Sleep a while
You must be tired…”
But every night I burn
Every night I call your name
Every night I burn
Every night I fall again
Every night I burn
Scream the animal scream
Every night I burn
Dream the crow black dream

Dream the crow black dream…

She Tells Me: “Worship in the Bedroom.”

In the morning, he bathes me like a child, placing me gently in a tub of hot water and washing away the dried blood, gingerly moving his hands over my welted skin. He stitches me up expertly, and I only wince a little. His fingers move beneath my collar to massage my nape, and I feel a pressure ease from my whole body. He towels me off and covers me in a robe. And I lean in to him for his warmth and the familiar feel of his body against mine. I have spent all night deprived after having asked him for something I never thought I’d ask for. I am feeling vulnerable and needy and wanton. It is so hard to reconcile these feelings with my submission. All at once I want to kneel at his feet and wait for him to instruct me, but there is an animal need creeping up through my body, lodging itself in my throat, waiting for me to do something about it.  Continue reading

TMI Tuesday: Even More Odds and Ends

 

tmi discuss mike meyers

1. What do you collect?

I know I’ve answered this before, but I cannot remember what I answered, and that’s okay! Because I collect quite a few things. So a few more things I collect: vinyl, postcards, shoes, Harley Quinn and Joker memorabilia, and recently: mosquito bites -.-

2. What do you do for fun?

I watch movies, I go out with friends and drink and dance, I travel, and various other activities.

3. Name a place that’s fun for you to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there.

I loved visiting London but I don’t think I’d want to live there in spite of loving big cities.

4. Do you believe in revenge?

I understand both the concept and the desire, however, I believe more in Karma.

5. Do you believe in forgiveness and do you forgive and forget?

Forgiveness is the hardest thing I’ve learned. And I can forgive now, however… I never forget.

6. Are you religious? spiritual? Atheist?

As the product of a house of warring and vastly different doctrines/beliefs, one of which being devout Roman Catholicism, I often say that I am a recovering Catholic. Spiritual pragmatist, Syncretic Agnostic, and deeply confused and disillusioned are all good terms that describe my personal belief system as well. I should mention that I am also highly critical of organized religion, specifically when it worms its way into politics or government processes. However, I’ve also been studying religion for years and I find it fascinating.

Overall… I have a very complex relationship with religion.

Bonus: What’s your routine every night just before you go to sleep?

If I don’t pass out first… I usually drink a glass of water, wash my face, brush my hair, brush my teeth, change into something comfortable/get naked, masturbate/get  fucked and then tuck in with music on or a movie on.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!