TMI Tuesday: Relationships

Hello. Welcome to TMI Tuesday. Up this week:

Can we talk… relationships?

relationship diagram

1. What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you see an attractive person?

Well, hellooooo gorgeous.

2. What is your idea of a dream date? Describe the person and the type of date experience.

The person: Intelligent, Engaging, Witty, Charming, Flirtatious, Charismatic, Physically attractive (to me)

The date: Keep in mind, this certainly isn’t a first date with a new person, because first dates are never going to be dream dates or ideal dates (IMO). I’d like to take in an opera with someone who really appreciates opera like I do. Something beautiful and romantic and a little sad. This someone would have to understand how close to the surface my emotions lie, because opera always makes me cry, at least a little bit. We’d go back to my apartment and make a late dinner together, working quietly with and around each other in the kitchen, feeding each other tastes of unfinished courses. We’d eat, and chat or we could be silent if it was comfortable. We’d move to the balcony outside of my bedroom and share a bottle of wine or good, aged scotch and talk while the night grew darker, talk until there was a need to touch instead of speak, and we’d fall into bed together, and remain there until breakfast.

3. How many serious relationships have you had? Were you in love?

What’s the definition of a serious relationship? Is it judged based on length or “milestones” like moving in together or being engaged? Or is it based on feelings? In the case of the first, I’ve had two serious relationships. I’ve been engaged and I’ve lived with someone else. I have this problem of feeling very much in love when I’m in the heat of the moment, but later I generally realize that the relationship was a relationSHIT and was stupid and toxic and I wasn’t so much in love with them as I was completely entranced with them at the time.

I think I’ve been in love twice in my life. And neither the person I lived with or the person I was engaged to was one of those times. Though I do still have lingering hurts and pains and holes left in me from ex-fiance and ex-live in boyfriend… I’d rather not measure how much I love a person by how much I allowed them to hurt me. However, the two people that I have had real, honest “in love” feelings for have not hurt me… so maybe there is that.

4. How many casual sexual relationships have you had?

Too many.

5. What will ruin a relationship for you?

A relationship? Lack of communication, lack of intimacy, laziness, someone who doesn’t care about themselves or care to take care of themselves, someone who is unwilling to understand my goals/dreams/ambitions.

Bonus: What is your definition of sexy?

Judging based on my track record, I would say unavailability, be it emotional or sexual unavailability. That’s me being cynical.

But I think sexiness exists as an aura that people carry around them, it is borne of confidence and charisma and though it may have something to do with the way a person looks, I don’t think that the predominant factor in deciding a person’s sexiness is their looks.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Music Appreciation Monday: I Want More


I love this band.

It’s not really a band

It’s a solo album under the alias of one part of one of my favorite Swedish duos, The Knife. It’s a little dark and melodic and beautiful. This song is slow with a strange beat that makes me feel many different ways/things. She sadly only has one album, but I’m holding out/hoping for more… even though it’s been 5 years. Sigh.


“If I Had a Heart”
by Fever Ray

This will never end ’cause I want more
More, give me more, give me more

This will never end ’cause I want more
More, give me more, give me more

If I had a heart I could love you
If I had a voice I would sing
After the night when I wake up
I’ll see what tomorrow brings

If I had a voice I would sing

Dangling feet from window frame
Will They ever ever reach the floor?
More, give me more, give me more

Crushed and filled with all I found
Underneath and inside
Just to come around
More, give me more, give me more

If I had a voice I would sing

Momma Had a Baby and It’s Head Popped Off (Head Popped Off)

A moment of silence for fallen friends.

My Hitachi Magic Wand kicked it this morning.
And I don’t mean it just stopped working.

I mean the head popped off.
A little piece of the plastic near the head cracked and lo and behold it broke!

It was pretty funny actually.
And I’m not too, too broken up about it because, as Sir put it: I’ve been cuckolding my Hitachi since I got my Wahl.


RIP (not so) little Hitachi.

The Cashier at the Grocery Store

We’re shopping for dinner at my local grocery store, the one I frequent on a bi-weekly basis. There’s this cashier whose line I always end up in. She’s cute and feisty, and I don’t have a type, but I find her attractive. She’s tall, for a woman, at least. Her hair is clipped close to her head in an unruly pixie cut that is a mixture of blonde and unnatural red. She is milk-white without a single blemish. Her eyes are husky blue and she is lean, with nonexistent breasts and a flat stomach and long limbs and wide hips and her manager makes her wear long sleeves because of the tattoos that cover her arms from wrists to shoulders, but in the heat of the summer she has them rolled past her elbows, and I always get a little entranced by them.

She always flirts with me: deliberately, overtly, hinting at a sexual chemistry that could be. She’s quick as a whip and talks a good game, surprisingly. Today, Sir is with me, and it seems to rankle her something fierce, which amuses me. Continue reading

If You’re Asking

I’m 95 percent sure that if you asked Sir how he self-identifies/labels himself in the context of BDSM he would not say Dominant/Top/Master. He would (nearly) undoubtedly say: Sadist. I’m not his first foray into the lifestyle, so I am not vain enough to say his Dominance is a reactionary consequence of my Submission, more like it is something natural about him… an aura he wears, so to speak. I laugh a lot at people who claim to be naturally Dominant or Submissive, but mainly internet Doms who are “looking for a natural Submissive.” I don’t know why, it just makes me giggle.

But I think Sir has a “natural Dominant aura” about him. Though most people associate being a Sadist with being a “Top” and being a Masochist with being a “Bottom” that is not always true. There are plenty of tops–D-types, who enjoy having pain inflicted upon them, and likewise, there are bottoms–S-types, who enjoy inflicting pain. So he isn’t Dominant because he is a Sadist. Continue reading

I Ain’t Jokin’ When I Said You’re So Good

There is something happening… some sensation is moving through me… over me… rolling me gently.

I am stirring, starting to come into awareness, moving from the feeling of lucid dreaming to hazy consciousness. I don’t feel alert or scared… the sensations are familiar.

I hear a moan, and realize it is me. My back arches and my eyes flutter open.

It is middle of the night dark. The only source of illumination is the flash of lightning at the high window… once… and again some moments later. The drapes over the sliding glass door are pulled.

There is a body over mine, pinning me down. It takes some moments for my eyes to adjust, for me to see the brassy, blonde hair, the deep eyes, the cut of his jaw and his cheeks. I know the hands at my wrists, intimately. His mouth dips down to touch the warm, aching spot on my neck. His teeth graze my skin and my hips rise again, pressing against his. He is nude and so am I. The sheets are gone and he’s sucking on my neck and it’s shooting through my body; the center of me is molten, liquid heat. I ache. Continue reading

TMI Tuesday: Life of the Party

Not only is he prolific with great verse but TMI Tuesday questions too. Special thanks to for once again submitting great questions this week.

Party Fears


Good News: You’ve been invited to party!
Bad News: You have certain concerns. . .

1) Arrival. Are you afraid (a) that you can’t find the address, (b) that you will be early, (c) that you will be late, (d) other?

I’m not afraid I will be late, because I am always on time for work or other important functions… I am *always* late to the party. Usually because I obsessively change my clothes a dozen times or more.

2) Clothing. Are you afraid (a) you will be underdressed, (b) overdressed, (c) dressed for the wrong activity, (d) don’t have items that you need, e.g. swimsuit, (3) other?

Overdressed, as is my curse!

3) Drinks. Are you afraid that (a) you will drink too much, (b) that you will drink too little, (c) other people will drink too much, (d) there won’t be anything good that’s non-alcoholic, (e) other?

Drink too much. I’m definitely the girl with the lampshade on her head at the end of the night if I’m not careful. And it’s hard for me to back down from a challenge.

4) Food. Are you afraid that (a) the food will be too new-fangled and trendy, (b) the food will be conventional and boring, (c) there won’t be anything you want to eat, (d) there won’t be any food and you are hungry, (e) other?

I’m not a terrible picky eater, although I swear it’s like whatever party I go to… they usually have a bunch of shit with bacon all over it, and the only refreshments they ever have (aside from booze) are various sodas. I don’t eat pork or soda, and really don’t eat too many sweets. I almost always bring a bottle of water to a party.

5) Music. Are you afraid that (a) the music will be too loud, (b) there won’t be music or you won’t be able to hear it, (c) the music will be of a new genre you don’t like or can’t understand, (d) the music will be boring oldies, (e) other?

I take offense to the idea of “oldies” being boring. I suppose I’m more afraid that the music will be far too loud for good conversation and/or give me a headache. It would have to be pretty damn loud though, since I’m used to loud music.

6) Later. Are you afraid that (a) the party will end too soon and it won’t have been worth the trouble, (b) the party will go on too long, (c) other?

I’d rather the party go on too long–I can always leave. I hate when a good party breaks up too soon, and I’m usually the person that says: hey, anyone who is game, come to this bar/my house with me.

7. Afterward. Are you afraid that (a) you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be bad, (b) the you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be great, (c) that you will end up in bed with the right person and there won’t be any sex, (d) that you will end up in bed with the right person who wants sex but you are too tired, (e) other?

Before I fuck someone, I need an attraction or chemistry. My attraction, like everyone else’s, is initially appearance based (when I’m seeing people), but if I start talking to you and you’re an idiot (I’m a judgmental asshole, sorry) we’re probably not fucking. If there is not an immediate spark, we’re probably not fucking either. I used to fuck pretty indiscriminately, but I’m at the point now that if we’re going to have a one night stand, it needs to be because I fucking NEED you right then, because the chemistry between us is so unbearable.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!